If you are someone who absolutely hates reading self-help books, welcome to my world. I used to find it extraneous to read about how other people think I should live my life. Over the years, the more I avoided reading them, the more I encountered them whilst growing up (FYI, I think I have a lot of growing up left so I’m not preaching here yo).
Most of the “life tips” we’ve read out there give rather general advice such as; drink lots of water, smile often, help strangers, do more charity, pick up and thrive on a hobby and what not. We rarely hear practical counsel, which is truly what we need in a whirlwind world as today. So to speak, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve experimented with getting to know my surroundings better, being more adaptive, sensitive and responsive to the happenings around me and compiled a list of “life tips” that I think and hope may help you. Of course, no one can truly make a judgment call if the following are right or wrong. They are compatible to me but not necessarily to you. If they are, and they help, even if it is just for one person, I consider myself privileged.
1. Sometimes, we tend to take our spouses for granted because “they understand us more than others”. You may end up pleasing your parents, in-laws, children and everyone else first before your spouse. Recently, a brilliant person stated that your spouse would be the only one by your side when everyone else goes away. Your parents will not be with you forever, your children will grow up and find their comfort zone somewhere, friends come and go, relatives have other relatives to attend to. But your significant other has nowhere else to go but stick by you through good and through trying times. Make them as your number one priority. When you’re both old and wrinkly, you will only have each other to create your own happiness in your own little world.
2. I’m sure you have encountered a time when you are in a restaurant with someone, and they act all sweet, adorable and charming and you pat yourself on the back for a great find but yet, when the waiter comes, they treat him like a 16th century slave by speaking rudely and belittling them. Or an occurrence similar as such when people who seem to have impeccable manners speak to others in a derogatory manner, especially when those people are of lower occupational ranks. Yeah, run away, my friend.
The way I see it, you can truly judge a person by looking at how they treat people with lower social status than themselves. If they talk in a bad manner or show rude gestures to waiters, housemaids, drivers, etc, they d not have good character. It simply means that they look up to people with social status and show the exact opposite to others. Do you really want people like that in your life? Didn’t think so.
3. If you have ever panicked when your significant other checks your phone (guilty!), you are already doing something wrong. Remember that cheating does not have to start from physical connection or adultery. When you delete phone conversations, erase call histories and keeps a password on your cell that your spouse has no idea of, chances are, you’re heading there. A little mystery is good in a relationship, but not up to the bar that you get fidgety every time he/she simply needs to check the time.
4. Learn decent grammar. Note that I implemented the word “decent” instead of “perfect”. Empowering your social speaking skills will help you boost your confidence. Learn to differentiate the difference between “its” and “it’s”, “whose” and “who’s” etc. No one expects you to memorize the whole Oxford dictionary, but improving your fine grammar will up your ante, I promise you. Especially today, when social medias allow you to put yourself out there, and whatever is written depicts you by its very core.
5. If you are a vegetarian, I applaud you. I salute you for being able to live on greens for life and I do admire your good intentions. But, if you judge me for eating my choice of food, all that “good karma” you think you have goes out to the drain. It is good to have beliefs, but if you shove your beliefs down my throat, my apologies, but that will take you nowhere close to inner peace. When you claim that people are “killers” for consuming food of their choice, you are being that judgmental person you thought the other person was. No one is shoving meat down your throat, so if you can’t stop claiming self-righteousness, please, just leave.
6. Let other people choose to do what they want with their money. Unless you’re a hired wealth manager, you need to stop deciding what other people can do with their income. I’ve read so many facebook commenters who express that they would rather give money to charity, or travel to their holy countries rather than purchasing a purse with multiple 0’s in price. What people do with their income is entirely up to them; whether they put it in a charity, invest it, go for a shopping spree. It’s their own hard work, why do we write their cashbooks for them?
7. If you are not already at the peak of your career, don’t worry; you’ll reach there after hard work, patience and time. People at the highest often start at the lowest. I know a hotel manager who used to scrub toilets at the very same hotel. What I rarely see are those people, despite being at the highest point of their career, revert for a couple of hours to do what they used to do as they climbed the ladder. A previous employer of mine once told me “don’t be afraid to step down and do what you used to. Chances are that, you’ll emerge even higher after that”, and I agree. Just because you are McDonald’s Senior Supervisor, don’t be afraid to fry some French fries when you’re understaffed. If you are a restaurant host, don’t feel belittled if you have to read the specials to people who are dining. It will not make you less of a person.
8. I’ve seen some people (more like bullies!) who go all out to make little kids cry, get uncomfortable and eventually gets the kid to avoid being within the radius of that rotten bully. And YET, when the bully acquires a new nephew/niece, they act like the best aunt/uncle in the world. I mean, how sad is that? You decide who gets to grow up with a mental scar? Remember that children absorb everything around them very quickly. If you teach them fear, they will never see courage in the face again. STOP being a bully. You wouldn’t want that for your kid, would you?
There are so much more, but it would turn into a whole saga. I hope a part 2 will come soon. Hope you enjoyed this, just about enough to make you sit and think through it.
Xx
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
“Just Like Old Times” – Is It Really?
Picture this. Scenario number 1. You are walking in a mall by yourself, meets an old friend from high school, start chatting continually, decide to have some coffee and have a really good time. You must have wondered “just like old times”?
Scenario number 2. You’re still in a mall (or wherever! It doesn’t matter) and meet an old crush. You start thinking of the “good old times” and feel like the years didn’t pass by at all. Familiar?
Anyway, you get the gist. I’ve lost count of how many hash tags I’ve read that says #justlikeoldtimes. Heck, I use it too! Today, in came a rushing thought to my mind? Are these really like old times? Do the moments we have today equivalent to the “good old times”?
Once you ponder (please do, so I don’t feel like the only weirdo overthinking this), we are absolutely NOTHING like the olden days. Think about it:
Some of us have new relationships. Some of us broke up with old flames, some of us got married to the person of our dreams, some of us had arranged marriages, some of us had children, some of us are recently single, some of us are happily dating or plowing their dating fields, some of us are mending our own heartbreaks, some of us are probably struggling with a recent family death.
Some of us have left studying, some of us are bored of our jobs, some of us want to study some more but are waiting for the right time, some of us are happily pursuing further education, some of us are looking for jobs, some of us are sick of being the bread-earner in the house, some of us are looking forward for job promotions and higher salaries, some of us are doing professionally and financially well and some may be on the flip side of the coin.
Some of us have lost oodles of weight. Some of us have better-looking hair. Some of us no longer have acne problem. Some of us have some kind of incurable disease. Some of us are struggling with eating disorders. Some of us are bulimic. Some of us have gotten some kind of cosmetic surgeries. Some of us have recently jumped into the health bandwagon. Some of us are still in love with junk food. Some of us sneak in chocolate in their gym bags.
Some of us have been bullied in school and yet learned the art of forgiveness. Some of us still carry old grudges and secretly hate them around us. Some of us sometimes still feel like society’s punching bag.
Give yourself a few minutes and acquire a snapshot of how you were in the “good old days”. Think of how we dressed, looked, talked, thought, behaved and so on. And then, bring yourself forward to the person you are today. Would you really rather be that person in the “good old days”? If you think you are a much better person today, spot on, because I’m sure you are. The person you are today is a far stretch from the gawky teenager you once were.
We have all emerged to be better, stronger, irrevocably sturdier person today. If anyone fails to understand that, build a fort around you and protect yourself with all that you have and comprehend that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Go ahead. Meet your old friends and have a nice, long chat over dinner. Picture yourselves years before today and be proud of the person you are today. Growing up is never easy but you climbed through. You are frikkin awesome!
Scenario number 2. You’re still in a mall (or wherever! It doesn’t matter) and meet an old crush. You start thinking of the “good old times” and feel like the years didn’t pass by at all. Familiar?
Anyway, you get the gist. I’ve lost count of how many hash tags I’ve read that says #justlikeoldtimes. Heck, I use it too! Today, in came a rushing thought to my mind? Are these really like old times? Do the moments we have today equivalent to the “good old times”?
Once you ponder (please do, so I don’t feel like the only weirdo overthinking this), we are absolutely NOTHING like the olden days. Think about it:
Some of us have new relationships. Some of us broke up with old flames, some of us got married to the person of our dreams, some of us had arranged marriages, some of us had children, some of us are recently single, some of us are happily dating or plowing their dating fields, some of us are mending our own heartbreaks, some of us are probably struggling with a recent family death.
Some of us have left studying, some of us are bored of our jobs, some of us want to study some more but are waiting for the right time, some of us are happily pursuing further education, some of us are looking for jobs, some of us are sick of being the bread-earner in the house, some of us are looking forward for job promotions and higher salaries, some of us are doing professionally and financially well and some may be on the flip side of the coin.
Some of us have lost oodles of weight. Some of us have better-looking hair. Some of us no longer have acne problem. Some of us have some kind of incurable disease. Some of us are struggling with eating disorders. Some of us are bulimic. Some of us have gotten some kind of cosmetic surgeries. Some of us have recently jumped into the health bandwagon. Some of us are still in love with junk food. Some of us sneak in chocolate in their gym bags.
Some of us have been bullied in school and yet learned the art of forgiveness. Some of us still carry old grudges and secretly hate them around us. Some of us sometimes still feel like society’s punching bag.
Give yourself a few minutes and acquire a snapshot of how you were in the “good old days”. Think of how we dressed, looked, talked, thought, behaved and so on. And then, bring yourself forward to the person you are today. Would you really rather be that person in the “good old days”? If you think you are a much better person today, spot on, because I’m sure you are. The person you are today is a far stretch from the gawky teenager you once were.
We have all emerged to be better, stronger, irrevocably sturdier person today. If anyone fails to understand that, build a fort around you and protect yourself with all that you have and comprehend that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Go ahead. Meet your old friends and have a nice, long chat over dinner. Picture yourselves years before today and be proud of the person you are today. Growing up is never easy but you climbed through. You are frikkin awesome!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Marrying "Early"-Often a Public Debacle, But Why?
If I had a penny for whenever people asked me why I married “early”, I’d probably be a billionaire by now. FYI, I am 25 and married at 24. For a lot of people, that age does seem to be a young age to get hitched. Not so much in my case, though. It did take me by surprise when the engagement was set, but by and by, I realized that if you’re not ready by 24-25, you’d never be ready anyway. Marriage isn’t something anyone can ever be completely prepped for. It’s something you dive it, and eventually enjoy!
Most of the conversation concerning young marriage is negative, and the few who do advocate for young marriage aren’t really laying out any romantic reasons. For those of us who married young, our relationships are up for public debate, whether we like it or not. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion about whether or not marrying young is a good idea, but at the end of the day, marriage isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. Everyone feels differently.
But regardless of where you stand on the “young marriage debate,” there are still advantages to marrying young. And a young, strong marriage is still something to be celebrated rather than written off as a failure waiting to happen.
Here is my side of the story, and some reasons as to why I love my “young” marriage ☺☺
1. You get to grow up together. In the first few months of your marriage, you’ll probably get to experience being irresponsible, such as, sleeping late after movie-nights, impromptu dinner dates and what not. Later on eventually, you’ll slowly get to realize your responsibilities, making a living for yourselves, starting the “family” talk, taking better control of your household and simply being an ideal spouse and a smarter version of yourself!
2. More flexibility. Young couples, mostly, are never too much in a hurry into being the perfect home-runners. People you share a home with will be kind enough to allow you some space, to adjust yourself in a totally new light. You get to make mistakes and find time to rectify yourself. Because we got married in our 20s, we were still figuring out how to "live like grown ups" — which wasn't only easier to do together, but more fun.
3. Celebrating milestones. Most couples’ milestone is their first child. When you marry young, you have more milestones to look forward too, such as, setting up your first business together, buying your very own piece of furniture, eventually buying a new car, counting down to graduate your master’s degree (personal experience!).
4. No wedding pressure. You know how it is when aunties and uncles to come your folks and ask them when are we getting hitched? Yeah, get married early and save yourself the awkward situations. A must-read book I recently read was Meg Ray’s TED talk "Why 30 is not the new 20". She describes the enormous pressure that comes when everyone around you seems to suddenly marry at once. She describes the story often sounding like, “Dating in my twenties was like musical chairs, everybody was running around and having fun. But then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up.” Marrying young has left that pressure off my plate completely, and even though I don’t think about it often, it is a huge relief.
5. No more “where is everybody?” moment for you. This may be a small point compared to the ones above, but there have been countless moments for everyone, where they end up alone, either in parties, dinners, weddings, funerals, etc, probably because their friends take forever to get ready. When you’re married, your ever-faithful companion is always by your side!
6. Let’s not forget the little things that mean the world; watching horror movies and having someone to cling to anytime, beautiful mornings when you talk about the day to come, counting month-saries, re-decorating your room together, dropping each other to work, random McDonald’s midnight home delivery, comparing bicep size in the gym (high-five, hun!) and so much more!
Young marriages get to run the whole course from young and stupid to old and wise. It’s a beautiful journey to make together, and one I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Most of the conversation concerning young marriage is negative, and the few who do advocate for young marriage aren’t really laying out any romantic reasons. For those of us who married young, our relationships are up for public debate, whether we like it or not. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion about whether or not marrying young is a good idea, but at the end of the day, marriage isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. Everyone feels differently.
But regardless of where you stand on the “young marriage debate,” there are still advantages to marrying young. And a young, strong marriage is still something to be celebrated rather than written off as a failure waiting to happen.
Here is my side of the story, and some reasons as to why I love my “young” marriage ☺☺
1. You get to grow up together. In the first few months of your marriage, you’ll probably get to experience being irresponsible, such as, sleeping late after movie-nights, impromptu dinner dates and what not. Later on eventually, you’ll slowly get to realize your responsibilities, making a living for yourselves, starting the “family” talk, taking better control of your household and simply being an ideal spouse and a smarter version of yourself!
2. More flexibility. Young couples, mostly, are never too much in a hurry into being the perfect home-runners. People you share a home with will be kind enough to allow you some space, to adjust yourself in a totally new light. You get to make mistakes and find time to rectify yourself. Because we got married in our 20s, we were still figuring out how to "live like grown ups" — which wasn't only easier to do together, but more fun.
3. Celebrating milestones. Most couples’ milestone is their first child. When you marry young, you have more milestones to look forward too, such as, setting up your first business together, buying your very own piece of furniture, eventually buying a new car, counting down to graduate your master’s degree (personal experience!).
4. No wedding pressure. You know how it is when aunties and uncles to come your folks and ask them when are we getting hitched? Yeah, get married early and save yourself the awkward situations. A must-read book I recently read was Meg Ray’s TED talk "Why 30 is not the new 20". She describes the enormous pressure that comes when everyone around you seems to suddenly marry at once. She describes the story often sounding like, “Dating in my twenties was like musical chairs, everybody was running around and having fun. But then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up.” Marrying young has left that pressure off my plate completely, and even though I don’t think about it often, it is a huge relief.
5. No more “where is everybody?” moment for you. This may be a small point compared to the ones above, but there have been countless moments for everyone, where they end up alone, either in parties, dinners, weddings, funerals, etc, probably because their friends take forever to get ready. When you’re married, your ever-faithful companion is always by your side!
6. Let’s not forget the little things that mean the world; watching horror movies and having someone to cling to anytime, beautiful mornings when you talk about the day to come, counting month-saries, re-decorating your room together, dropping each other to work, random McDonald’s midnight home delivery, comparing bicep size in the gym (high-five, hun!) and so much more!
Young marriages get to run the whole course from young and stupid to old and wise. It’s a beautiful journey to make together, and one I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Skinny is Not Ideal - Unless You're Healthy
Ladies, we all been here here. There was always a point of time where you stood by your mirror, sucked your cheeks in and wondered why weren't you skinnier? We would always have some kind of fat-related complain such as "My cheeks are so chubby!" or "My tummy isn't getting flat" or "My hips are too wide" and eventually, we try all the diets in the world.
Over the years, we have seen people evolve. Those who were once chubby are now svelte. I often go up to them and ask for their primary motivation in their journey towards achieving their figures. However, their answers often startle me, because they revolve around "looking good". Very rarely do I hear people losing weight in order to stay fit/healthy/fight obesity. Is the society really going all out to stop eating, simply to look good? Has health really become a secondary factor? Is the word "fit" being replaced by "sexy"?
I can't blame anyone but the fashion industry. They have near-death-skinny models on the ramp, magazine covers and even make skinny mannequins to exhibit their definition of "looking good". They consider size 0 or 2 to be ideal and models who look absolutely gorgeous, fit and REAL are considered plus-sized. Let me start by giving you an example.
This breath-takingly gorgeous model, Robin Lawley (who has a lovely figure, in my opinion) is considered a plus-sized model. Ok, in what universe is she plus-sized? Just because a model is not a size 0 or 2, she is automatically labeled fat. Plus, it is totally demeaning. Would you call a chubby doctor a "plus-sized doctor"? Just because she has hips, she is labeled plus-sized? This is so gross.
Also, the usage of Photoshop on every single bit of skin on magazine covers. Who do these editors think they're kidding? Some of us are competent enough to see through the touch-ups but what about those with insecurity problems? Won't they look at the covers and look down upon themselves?
Please notice that they have photoshopped her cheeks contouring, her hips width, her freckles and spots, her fingers (uh, why???). She looks gorgeous in the original one!
Have to give solid credit to those who are introducing a new definition of beauty and realness.
Debenham, for example, introduced a whole new campaign with girls who look normal! Take a look below.
and another one (claps)
Girls, please remember. Let us not use Victoria's Secret models as a benchmark for gorgeous. They are paid to look like that. I simply cannot recall any other person, working as a non-model, who looks like them. In fact, lets start being real. I am not encouraging anyone to sit down and be a couch potato all day. Go to the gym, exercise, eat well. But not because you want to be skinny. Do it because you want to be healthy and fit. When you have reached that level of fitness, a wonderful body is sure to follow!
This is NOT bashing anyone who is naturally skinny. If you are so, and accompanied by good health, good for u! Again, this is not about looks. This is about health and how good looks will follow, once health is optimum.
Don't lose yourselves on your path towards looking good. Focus on being happy and healthy.
Hope this can be of help to everyone out there :):)
Over the years, we have seen people evolve. Those who were once chubby are now svelte. I often go up to them and ask for their primary motivation in their journey towards achieving their figures. However, their answers often startle me, because they revolve around "looking good". Very rarely do I hear people losing weight in order to stay fit/healthy/fight obesity. Is the society really going all out to stop eating, simply to look good? Has health really become a secondary factor? Is the word "fit" being replaced by "sexy"?
I can't blame anyone but the fashion industry. They have near-death-skinny models on the ramp, magazine covers and even make skinny mannequins to exhibit their definition of "looking good". They consider size 0 or 2 to be ideal and models who look absolutely gorgeous, fit and REAL are considered plus-sized. Let me start by giving you an example.
This breath-takingly gorgeous model, Robin Lawley (who has a lovely figure, in my opinion) is considered a plus-sized model. Ok, in what universe is she plus-sized? Just because a model is not a size 0 or 2, she is automatically labeled fat. Plus, it is totally demeaning. Would you call a chubby doctor a "plus-sized doctor"? Just because she has hips, she is labeled plus-sized? This is so gross.
Also, the usage of Photoshop on every single bit of skin on magazine covers. Who do these editors think they're kidding? Some of us are competent enough to see through the touch-ups but what about those with insecurity problems? Won't they look at the covers and look down upon themselves?
Please notice that they have photoshopped her cheeks contouring, her hips width, her freckles and spots, her fingers (uh, why???). She looks gorgeous in the original one!
Have to give solid credit to those who are introducing a new definition of beauty and realness.
Debenham, for example, introduced a whole new campaign with girls who look normal! Take a look below.
and another one (claps)
Girls, please remember. Let us not use Victoria's Secret models as a benchmark for gorgeous. They are paid to look like that. I simply cannot recall any other person, working as a non-model, who looks like them. In fact, lets start being real. I am not encouraging anyone to sit down and be a couch potato all day. Go to the gym, exercise, eat well. But not because you want to be skinny. Do it because you want to be healthy and fit. When you have reached that level of fitness, a wonderful body is sure to follow!
This is NOT bashing anyone who is naturally skinny. If you are so, and accompanied by good health, good for u! Again, this is not about looks. This is about health and how good looks will follow, once health is optimum.
Don't lose yourselves on your path towards looking good. Focus on being happy and healthy.
Hope this can be of help to everyone out there :):)
Thursday, January 2, 2014
The Weirdest Comments I (and I'm sure you can) Relate To
So, we live in a world where there are so many types of personalities and behaviors, but I can’t help but share some of my favorite (?) comments, questions and statements people I know have passed. Some are bizarre, some quite rude and some just plain hilarious! Not all of them were directed to me, luckily, but some were said/done to people around me and they just stuck to me throughout the years! Enjoy
1. “OH I LOVE THAT MOVIE, BUT TOO BAD BOTH CHARACTERS DIED” – the spoiler alert. EXCUSE ME, some of us paid for tickets to actually sit throughout the entire movie! Did we ask you for an ending spoiler? Even more annoyingly, this sense-deprived human being posts these spoilers on social medias for their 123.456.890 friends to read, like “Oh it was a bad movie! The guy finally got dumped at the end” YEAH I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU GET DUMPED YOU DOOFUS
I have to add though, I personally love movie reviews! I love reading about the sets, soundtrack, screenplay, dialogues, and scripts and then decide whether or not I’d like to go ahead and see it for myself. Having the ending narrated to me-so uncool.
2. “OMAGOD, ARE YOU GONNA EAT THAT CHEESECAKE? WE’RE GOING TO DRINK TONIGHT”- the failed dieticians. There are so many wisecracks out there who judge me when I am about to enjoy my desert or pizza. They lecture me about “being fit” or “staying healthy” or “going organic” and just when I’m about to feel guilty looking at their tiny cauliflower piece, they start drinking their lungs out. I mean, what’s the point of going on ultra diets when you put in a gallon of alcohol later that day? phew
3. “YOU SHOULD REALLY LOSE SOME WEIGHT”- the idiots. Unless you’re a nutritionist, a dietician, a personal trainer or in some kind of health-related occupation, you should really lay off people’s weight. Chances are that, the person knows he/she is somewhat overweight. Plus, they’re food binging with their own money. Shut up
This is a big exception if you’re extremely close to the person in need of this advice. And there are tactful ways to say it instead of throwing it to their face in smugness.
4. “YOU’VE LOST TOO MUCH WEIGHT, GUYS LIKE A LITTLE MEAT”-the men-centric dimwits. HELLO, isn’t this the 21st century? Can’t we live for ourselves instead of trying to please our men all the friggin time? Why are all our efforts perceived to be for solely pleasing men? If our body is changing, its most possibly for ourselves and NOT to make other people see us as desirable. This is not about men.
5. “YOU DON’T DRINK? YOU’RE TRULY MISSING OUT SOMETHING IN LIFE” or “YOU’RE A VEGETARIAN? OH NO” – the ignorants. Yeah, coz life is all about alcohol and meat. I suggest you to wake up, open your window and look out. Oh and stop being ignorant fools. *slaps own forehead*
6. “THANK GOD YOU’RE JUST A –INSERT OCCUPATION 1-, AT MY JOB, WE DEAL WITH MUCH HARDER THINGS”- the superiority complex. People don’t simply understand that different people are made for different jobs. Doctors deal with blood. Teachers deal with cranky children. Administers deal with fussy people. Try jumbling them all up. Wouldn’t all three freak out?
If you underestimate other people’s jobs, you are seriously a pain in the rear. STOP blaming other people who can afford to go for vacations mid-year or visit a theme park mid-week. Even they bring their work with them. If your work requires you to be in physical presence all the time, remember that you yourself opted for this job.
If you are a victim of one of the above, I feel you. BIG time. If you are own criminal offence for one of the above, don't take it too harshly :) We're all allowed a couple of goof-ups. Plus, some people may not share the same views as I do. All in all, its all for good fun.
xx
1. “OH I LOVE THAT MOVIE, BUT TOO BAD BOTH CHARACTERS DIED” – the spoiler alert. EXCUSE ME, some of us paid for tickets to actually sit throughout the entire movie! Did we ask you for an ending spoiler? Even more annoyingly, this sense-deprived human being posts these spoilers on social medias for their 123.456.890 friends to read, like “Oh it was a bad movie! The guy finally got dumped at the end” YEAH I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU GET DUMPED YOU DOOFUS
I have to add though, I personally love movie reviews! I love reading about the sets, soundtrack, screenplay, dialogues, and scripts and then decide whether or not I’d like to go ahead and see it for myself. Having the ending narrated to me-so uncool.
2. “OMAGOD, ARE YOU GONNA EAT THAT CHEESECAKE? WE’RE GOING TO DRINK TONIGHT”- the failed dieticians. There are so many wisecracks out there who judge me when I am about to enjoy my desert or pizza. They lecture me about “being fit” or “staying healthy” or “going organic” and just when I’m about to feel guilty looking at their tiny cauliflower piece, they start drinking their lungs out. I mean, what’s the point of going on ultra diets when you put in a gallon of alcohol later that day? phew
3. “YOU SHOULD REALLY LOSE SOME WEIGHT”- the idiots. Unless you’re a nutritionist, a dietician, a personal trainer or in some kind of health-related occupation, you should really lay off people’s weight. Chances are that, the person knows he/she is somewhat overweight. Plus, they’re food binging with their own money. Shut up
This is a big exception if you’re extremely close to the person in need of this advice. And there are tactful ways to say it instead of throwing it to their face in smugness.
4. “YOU’VE LOST TOO MUCH WEIGHT, GUYS LIKE A LITTLE MEAT”-the men-centric dimwits. HELLO, isn’t this the 21st century? Can’t we live for ourselves instead of trying to please our men all the friggin time? Why are all our efforts perceived to be for solely pleasing men? If our body is changing, its most possibly for ourselves and NOT to make other people see us as desirable. This is not about men.
5. “YOU DON’T DRINK? YOU’RE TRULY MISSING OUT SOMETHING IN LIFE” or “YOU’RE A VEGETARIAN? OH NO” – the ignorants. Yeah, coz life is all about alcohol and meat. I suggest you to wake up, open your window and look out. Oh and stop being ignorant fools. *slaps own forehead*
6. “THANK GOD YOU’RE JUST A –INSERT OCCUPATION 1-, AT MY JOB, WE DEAL WITH MUCH HARDER THINGS”- the superiority complex. People don’t simply understand that different people are made for different jobs. Doctors deal with blood. Teachers deal with cranky children. Administers deal with fussy people. Try jumbling them all up. Wouldn’t all three freak out?
If you underestimate other people’s jobs, you are seriously a pain in the rear. STOP blaming other people who can afford to go for vacations mid-year or visit a theme park mid-week. Even they bring their work with them. If your work requires you to be in physical presence all the time, remember that you yourself opted for this job.
If you are a victim of one of the above, I feel you. BIG time. If you are own criminal offence for one of the above, don't take it too harshly :) We're all allowed a couple of goof-ups. Plus, some people may not share the same views as I do. All in all, its all for good fun.
xx
Friday, October 18, 2013
STOP Blaming Rape Victims: Don't Women Have Equal Rights?
Disturbed. Haunted. Mind-boggled. I'm not sure if these words do justice to what I am truly feeling at this moment. My usual-random Googling led me to some truly irking, annoying information regarding rape. I dont need to further clarify rape rates in the world. Reading those numbers don't haunt you in your sleep, but reading victims' stories does. When you hear the word rape, what comes to mind? Men raping women, or the other way around? How often do we hear men claiming a sexual assault? How many men have pressed charges over being raped by women? Ponder on these for a moment before finally agreeing with me: Women are the main victims of sexual assaults.
What perturbed me to write this piece of article was when I read some online journals that state that women/victims are "partially to be blamed for the rape case" or "equally guilty as perpetrators of rape" or "the main trigger for their own rape case". I want to get up from my bed and hit these people on the face with an axe. But before I do that, here are some statements (some re-written from lack of references) from victim-blamers on why they believe women are to be blamed for their own rape case:
1. Those women were out late at night when they knew they should have been tucked away in bed.
2. What kind of women wear short skirts?
3. That woman must not have looked respectable. Men would not want to rape respectable women.
4. That woman must have been out drinking and provoked the rape.
5. She was out with a man late at night, which shows her personality.
I say: GO TO HELL, HYPOCRITES!
So, women who stay out late should be raped? Women who work night shifts or dual jobs deserve to be stripped off her dignity? Women who enjoy a late-night movie once in a while call out to being raped? Is this the norm that we are sending off by coming home a little later that usual?
Men are able to walk out the street without covering their upper body. You don't see women jumping their guns on to them. Can't women be out in public, wearing what she wants, without calling out to rapists? isn't this a free world? We cant stop you from thinking "what on earth is she wearing" but we should be able to stop you from doing the despicable.
"Men would not want to rape respectable women". Really? this is what they say? So, rapists will select indecent-looking women to rape? They will conduct a sampling method to separate trashy and classy looking ones? Does this mean that when their mothers and sisters look trashy, they will also be raped by their own family members? Does this mean that all women who have been raped must have looked trashy at the time of rape? I wont even bother starting on this one.
Drinking. I do not support acts on drunken stupor but I am not the only women in the world. Men go out to drink and come home fine and at most, suffer a hangover. While women should live with the fear of being assaulted? Where is the fairness?
Being out late at night with a man shows women's personality? Since when does the 12-hour clock show women's integrity? Aren't women allowed to socially interact with men? Dont we work with men, go to school with men, live with men? Do we need to stay off men in order to "protect our personality"? So when male friends ask out their female friends for a simple coffee chat, that woman should automatically be branded as one who deserves to be raped?
STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM. No woman wants to be sexually assaulted. No parent lets their daughters out, hoping to find them dishevelled on the road. It sinks victims hearts when they are questioned with "who were you with?", "what were you wearing?", "were you drunk?". Shouldn't the questioning be directed to the assaulters, instead of the victims, who are often the receiving end of a group-activity?
This women-blaming activist is the deep-seated mentality which creates a culture and traditions that are oppressive to women. Gruesome crimes against women have become rampant and courts cannot turn a blind eye to the need to send a strong deterrent message to the perpetrators.
Women don't cause rapes. Rapists do.
Together, we can make a difference. Share this and help spread the message to STOP BLAMING RAPE VICTIMS.
What perturbed me to write this piece of article was when I read some online journals that state that women/victims are "partially to be blamed for the rape case" or "equally guilty as perpetrators of rape" or "the main trigger for their own rape case". I want to get up from my bed and hit these people on the face with an axe. But before I do that, here are some statements (some re-written from lack of references) from victim-blamers on why they believe women are to be blamed for their own rape case:
1. Those women were out late at night when they knew they should have been tucked away in bed.
2. What kind of women wear short skirts?
3. That woman must not have looked respectable. Men would not want to rape respectable women.
4. That woman must have been out drinking and provoked the rape.
5. She was out with a man late at night, which shows her personality.
I say: GO TO HELL, HYPOCRITES!
So, women who stay out late should be raped? Women who work night shifts or dual jobs deserve to be stripped off her dignity? Women who enjoy a late-night movie once in a while call out to being raped? Is this the norm that we are sending off by coming home a little later that usual?
Men are able to walk out the street without covering their upper body. You don't see women jumping their guns on to them. Can't women be out in public, wearing what she wants, without calling out to rapists? isn't this a free world? We cant stop you from thinking "what on earth is she wearing" but we should be able to stop you from doing the despicable.
"Men would not want to rape respectable women". Really? this is what they say? So, rapists will select indecent-looking women to rape? They will conduct a sampling method to separate trashy and classy looking ones? Does this mean that when their mothers and sisters look trashy, they will also be raped by their own family members? Does this mean that all women who have been raped must have looked trashy at the time of rape? I wont even bother starting on this one.
Drinking. I do not support acts on drunken stupor but I am not the only women in the world. Men go out to drink and come home fine and at most, suffer a hangover. While women should live with the fear of being assaulted? Where is the fairness?
Being out late at night with a man shows women's personality? Since when does the 12-hour clock show women's integrity? Aren't women allowed to socially interact with men? Dont we work with men, go to school with men, live with men? Do we need to stay off men in order to "protect our personality"? So when male friends ask out their female friends for a simple coffee chat, that woman should automatically be branded as one who deserves to be raped?
STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM. No woman wants to be sexually assaulted. No parent lets their daughters out, hoping to find them dishevelled on the road. It sinks victims hearts when they are questioned with "who were you with?", "what were you wearing?", "were you drunk?". Shouldn't the questioning be directed to the assaulters, instead of the victims, who are often the receiving end of a group-activity?
This women-blaming activist is the deep-seated mentality which creates a culture and traditions that are oppressive to women. Gruesome crimes against women have become rampant and courts cannot turn a blind eye to the need to send a strong deterrent message to the perpetrators.
Women don't cause rapes. Rapists do.
Together, we can make a difference. Share this and help spread the message to STOP BLAMING RAPE VICTIMS.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Is Charity the New Runway?
Before i proceed to say things that may appear nasty to some, let me start off by saying that I think being involved in a charity is heart-warming. It gives you a sense of pride, belonging and accomplishment to be able to put in a smile in someone's day. Personally, I am a co-chairman of Sincere Hearts, a mini-foundation my best friend, Ekta Melwani and I set up together to help out the needy. By God's grace and support from local donators, we are standing rock solid with good funds and donations for our orphanages and old folks' home visits.
I am also extremely happy to see a lot of people being involved in charity. I must take a moment to applaud Care and Share, brought to my attention by my dear friend, Gita Sangtani, which also conducts visits and encourages donations.They recently worked together with freelance bakers in a Bake Sale, which ran successfully and raised good money to help those in need. Take a bow, guys :)
That being said, I have noticed a lot of people joining well-reputed charity groups with a half-heart. What I mean is, they join your visits, snaps for pictures, uploads them on social medias and wait for compliments such as "How nice of you to spare a sunday for the old folks". When it comes to behind-the-screens, such as packing, planning, organising, they are nowhere to be found.
Sometimes, people mislead the terms "charity" or "help" as a must of shelling out their resources. I think it is to the world's knowledge that everyone's resources are limited differently. while some may afford to spare a huge amount, some of us may be able to spare just a little bit of energy. You know that, that is perfectly all right! If you have limited resources, donate your time and energy, instead of smiling prettily and hashtagging #charity #sundayfunday #oldfolks #theartofgiving #tiredbuthappy #worthwhile without doing much of what is truly required. cape deh.
Another factor is the not-so-much-as-art of giving out old and used items. I once received a bag full of "good quality used toys" and yet when I opened the bag, it was full of broken toys, smelly dusty soft toys, old utensils and what not. I had to throw them out immediately. Well, excuse me, just because the people at the orphanages dont have much, it does not mean that we can give them crap! How? How do these people even think? do they say things like "This is broken so we cant use it, give em away, they'll probably be happy with a piece of wood that looks like nothing" ???
A wooden chopstick. Just one of it, not even a pair. Thats one of the crap I found. Like, seriously?
Torn clothes. Why would they wear clothes with broken, non-repairable zippers? Or clothes with no buttons anymore. Do you expect us to sit and sew your old trash? They can do so much better and you know it.
We create these charity groups because we have the time. Some of you may have all the money in the world but unable to provide time, so we can help you out with that. If you give us crap for donations, we treat you like crap too and have the right to refuse your "donations" in the future.
Not that we are not thankful. We would stand nowhere without your financial and non-financial help. they have helped us get through so many people and you are also responsible for their smiling faces. But, if you wish to do something, you have to do it with a full heart.
Would love to hear your thoughts!
xx
I am also extremely happy to see a lot of people being involved in charity. I must take a moment to applaud Care and Share, brought to my attention by my dear friend, Gita Sangtani, which also conducts visits and encourages donations.They recently worked together with freelance bakers in a Bake Sale, which ran successfully and raised good money to help those in need. Take a bow, guys :)
That being said, I have noticed a lot of people joining well-reputed charity groups with a half-heart. What I mean is, they join your visits, snaps for pictures, uploads them on social medias and wait for compliments such as "How nice of you to spare a sunday for the old folks". When it comes to behind-the-screens, such as packing, planning, organising, they are nowhere to be found.
Sometimes, people mislead the terms "charity" or "help" as a must of shelling out their resources. I think it is to the world's knowledge that everyone's resources are limited differently. while some may afford to spare a huge amount, some of us may be able to spare just a little bit of energy. You know that, that is perfectly all right! If you have limited resources, donate your time and energy, instead of smiling prettily and hashtagging #charity #sundayfunday #oldfolks #theartofgiving #tiredbuthappy #worthwhile without doing much of what is truly required. cape deh.
Another factor is the not-so-much-as-art of giving out old and used items. I once received a bag full of "good quality used toys" and yet when I opened the bag, it was full of broken toys, smelly dusty soft toys, old utensils and what not. I had to throw them out immediately. Well, excuse me, just because the people at the orphanages dont have much, it does not mean that we can give them crap! How? How do these people even think? do they say things like "This is broken so we cant use it, give em away, they'll probably be happy with a piece of wood that looks like nothing" ???
A wooden chopstick. Just one of it, not even a pair. Thats one of the crap I found. Like, seriously?
Torn clothes. Why would they wear clothes with broken, non-repairable zippers? Or clothes with no buttons anymore. Do you expect us to sit and sew your old trash? They can do so much better and you know it.
We create these charity groups because we have the time. Some of you may have all the money in the world but unable to provide time, so we can help you out with that. If you give us crap for donations, we treat you like crap too and have the right to refuse your "donations" in the future.
Not that we are not thankful. We would stand nowhere without your financial and non-financial help. they have helped us get through so many people and you are also responsible for their smiling faces. But, if you wish to do something, you have to do it with a full heart.
Would love to hear your thoughts!
xx
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