If you’re reading this article, you’re probably already married (and checking my wisecracks?), or planning your wedding, or maybe so awesomely single yet wanting to read this anyway.
Planning a wedding has never been easy, especially if you’re involved in our typical few nonstop days events that last day and night. I vividly remember taking vitamin shots just to be able to go through the process without suddenly fainting like typical Bollywood movies. Remember Kajol in DDLJ, anyone? (okay she fake-fainted but WHAT UP BOLLYWOOD REFERENCE!)
Don't get me wrong, indian weddings are fun! Brides are typically made the queen of the month and pampered with spa time, massages and lots of sleep-encouraged. Of course, I got none of those, being the control-freak, busy-body, flinching-hands that I have. But, I had solid support system from fellow brides and I must say, having advice helps build your faith that everything will be fine. So incase all brides around you have nothing to do but flaunt their rings in your face, read on, coz I got words that may change your perception on weddings!
1. Trousseau and bridal shopping
This is probably the most exciting thing we are lavished upon: full on shopping! Dresses, jeans, tops, jewelries, shoes, you know the gist. It sounds as awesome as it does but remember, set up a budget. When you go overboard in another country and are left broke, it’s not pretty. Whether you do it abroad or in town, think straight before making a purchase; there are certain things you cannot make use of after the wedding. Even for your bridal outfit, choose what makes YOU happy. Don't go all bling just coz “you have to”. I chose to go simple coz that’s how I generally am. Don't care.
2. Selecting your vendors
DO THIS NOW. RIGHT NOW if you’re planning a wedding. Sit with your groom and list down the list of vendors you consider, decide pros and cons of each, get a price quote from them and start making decisions quick. Making quick decisions does not mean making hasty calls and regretting eventually. Take the weekend to really squeeze your minds. People like event organizers, DJs, decorators, photographers, make-up artists, hotel banquet managers, choreographers, bartenders, caterers and everyone in weddings are sometimes booked a year in advance. They are amongst the busiest in the industry and if you don't move quick, the best ones will be long gone.
Luckily, both Vishal (that’s my husband btw) and I were extremely decisive in terms of calling the shots. If we say, “we’ll think about it”, it means taking only a few hours to decide. When we say, “we don't like it”, it means no one, I repeat, no one, can make us say yes with a sour face. Therefore, we faced no such things as late bookings or missing out on a great vendor. Yipppieee!
3. Effort on looking your best
If you’re a bride-to-be, you’re probably munching on a cucumber for lunch and planning a bowl of raw-and-tasteless veggies for dinner. Ugh. Yes, all girls want to look fit (please not skinny) on their wedding day and I was amongst those who had the same desire. But if I were to flashback, I remember having a larger-than-life meal once in a while because life is too short to waste on disgusting-tasting food. I’m no expert in yummy-and-healthy cooking and if you are, good for you!
I suggest: take a personal trainer. Work out often and sweat it all out. EAT WELL; you are surrounded with lots of thinking and running around, your body needs food! Don't deprive yourself of a good meal once in a while. You deserve it! No matter how much a person tries, no one and I mean no one can outstand a bride on her wedding day irrespective of her size.
I must go back to a few days prior to the wedding. It was after an amazing workout with my personal trainer (if you want a reference, call me!), and I was starving. Bored of my quinoas and home food, I went with my girls to Chilis. We ordered some fried chicken fingers, nachos and some good old coke. It felt amazing to splurge and I didn't feel guilty at all. Why should I?
4. Taking time off work
Don't hesitate to take a few months leave from work. It is almost impossible to handle both at once and if you once did, I must salute you. Then again, we were the kind of people who needed to see every bit of everything, attend every meeting, decide all things relating to the wedding, which was why this felt like a full time job. I left work (never to return as I was to move to a different city after the wedding) 2 months before the shopping trip to India. Why so long, you may ask? Well, to spend solid time at your home, sit with your folks without time issues, sharpen your wife duties (yeap!).
5. Managing your emotions
6 months before the wedding is going to be a very sensitive time gap between you and your fiancé. I’ve been told many times and didn't believe it until I faced it myself. Why so, you may ask? Firstly, there are so many different decisions to make and you may disagree on a lot. Coming to a conclusion may take lots of effort from both sides and reaching there may go through some rocky paths. The pressure is on because you’re both planning the biggest day of your life and you both want it perfect. So, obviously, its all not always a bed of roses.
Its important to remember that no matter what, you both want the wedding to happen. Keep a clear mind and listen to your partner’s opinions. At the end of the day, you’re both doing the best for each other and that's all that matters! Spend lots of time together, spend lots of time apart too! Go out with friends to have a good time and chill out. Stressing out will just add to a rough face on your day.
What we did was, go out on dates when we were not allowed to discuss the wedding. No stress, not even over-excitement, no honeymoon planning and literally go out as two people who do not have a wedding in mind. The temptation to get all excited was beyond us but it was a fresh change to go out with your “boyfriend” instead of your “fiancé” once in a while. Believe me, it works to ease out the tension and have a good time instead. You need not make it last for too long, get back home and open the wedding files again ;) after all, you’re on a deadline, girl.
6. Planning the honeymoon
This is beyond exciting! Personally, I’m an adventurer and love to travel! If my family would let me, I’d bungee jump, deep-sea dive, go mountain biking and the like. Too bad, they don’t let me live in the fast lane. Before we sidetrack, planning the honeymoon was few of the simplest things we had to do. As long as you’re set on your destination, budget, travel cites, tours, you’re fine. Weather checks are crucial! You don’t wanna freeze to death during sightseeing, or sweat too much in your pretty summer dress in an exotic tropical country. Arrange your visas much ahead of time. Imagine making your vows on the wedding day and thinking about pending paperwork for travel. Yikes!
7. Planning the performance
What’s an Indian wedding without the whole song-and-dance sequence? Unlike some other couples I know, Vishie and I decided to ensure that this side of the event was our call. We figured that in order to create a spectacular show, we’d both have to be all in for the planning. We’re both very fond dancers and enjoy watching good dance shows, so if not for ours, who else’s wedding can we be control freaks for?!
If you’re going to be involved in the performance like we did, do the discussion with your family members ahead of time, for God knows, you have a lot more to do than supervise rehearsals. Plan the songs, groups, costumes and props in advance and have a person-in-charge of selected designations. Everything else is easy to manage. The most difficult thing to manage, usually, is people. Sticking to schedules, ensuring everyone comes for rehearsals, making non-dancers shake ain’t a treat for weak hearts, believe me. But at the end of the day, we both put in our heart and soul and had the most amazing time of our lives during the show <3 if you danced at our wedding, hey, we love you!
8. Look your best and be your best
I must emphasize, stop caring about what people around you have to say about yourself and simply believe that you are beautiful. You may be the world’s ripest, sweetest apple but there is still someone who hates apples, right? Similarly, no matter how gorgeous your dress is or how much money you paid for your make-up, there is always someone who will still say mean things.
Nope, I wasn’t the bride with the world’s heaviest dress. I didn’t have extravagant layers of pancake on my face. Neither was I the slimmest person in the room. But I felt beyond bliss, simply because I chose to. I ate well (overly well at times :p), slept fine, exercised plenty, stressed a lot but relied on Vishie a lot too and took good care of myself. Ask anyone I know, and they will vouch for me when I say I was certainly not a bride-zilla ;)
Life is full of choices and I am glad that so far, I am blessed to make correct ones. With His grace, my friends and family have become my strongest support system and I love them truly.
Brides-to-be, I wish you all the best and remember that you are the world’s most gorgeous bride <3
Cheers, xx
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