Disturbed. Haunted. Mind-boggled. I'm not sure if these words do justice to what I am truly feeling at this moment. My usual-random Googling led me to some truly irking, annoying information regarding rape. I dont need to further clarify rape rates in the world. Reading those numbers don't haunt you in your sleep, but reading victims' stories does. When you hear the word rape, what comes to mind? Men raping women, or the other way around? How often do we hear men claiming a sexual assault? How many men have pressed charges over being raped by women? Ponder on these for a moment before finally agreeing with me: Women are the main victims of sexual assaults.
What perturbed me to write this piece of article was when I read some online journals that state that women/victims are "partially to be blamed for the rape case" or "equally guilty as perpetrators of rape" or "the main trigger for their own rape case". I want to get up from my bed and hit these people on the face with an axe. But before I do that, here are some statements (some re-written from lack of references) from victim-blamers on why they believe women are to be blamed for their own rape case:
1. Those women were out late at night when they knew they should have been tucked away in bed.
2. What kind of women wear short skirts?
3. That woman must not have looked respectable. Men would not want to rape respectable women.
4. That woman must have been out drinking and provoked the rape.
5. She was out with a man late at night, which shows her personality.
I say: GO TO HELL, HYPOCRITES!
So, women who stay out late should be raped? Women who work night shifts or dual jobs deserve to be stripped off her dignity? Women who enjoy a late-night movie once in a while call out to being raped? Is this the norm that we are sending off by coming home a little later that usual?
Men are able to walk out the street without covering their upper body. You don't see women jumping their guns on to them. Can't women be out in public, wearing what she wants, without calling out to rapists? isn't this a free world? We cant stop you from thinking "what on earth is she wearing" but we should be able to stop you from doing the despicable.
"Men would not want to rape respectable women". Really? this is what they say? So, rapists will select indecent-looking women to rape? They will conduct a sampling method to separate trashy and classy looking ones? Does this mean that when their mothers and sisters look trashy, they will also be raped by their own family members? Does this mean that all women who have been raped must have looked trashy at the time of rape? I wont even bother starting on this one.
Drinking. I do not support acts on drunken stupor but I am not the only women in the world. Men go out to drink and come home fine and at most, suffer a hangover. While women should live with the fear of being assaulted? Where is the fairness?
Being out late at night with a man shows women's personality? Since when does the 12-hour clock show women's integrity? Aren't women allowed to socially interact with men? Dont we work with men, go to school with men, live with men? Do we need to stay off men in order to "protect our personality"? So when male friends ask out their female friends for a simple coffee chat, that woman should automatically be branded as one who deserves to be raped?
STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM. No woman wants to be sexually assaulted. No parent lets their daughters out, hoping to find them dishevelled on the road. It sinks victims hearts when they are questioned with "who were you with?", "what were you wearing?", "were you drunk?". Shouldn't the questioning be directed to the assaulters, instead of the victims, who are often the receiving end of a group-activity?
This women-blaming activist is the deep-seated mentality which creates a culture and traditions that are oppressive to women. Gruesome crimes against women have become rampant and courts cannot turn a blind eye to the need to send a strong deterrent message to the perpetrators.
Women don't cause rapes. Rapists do.
Together, we can make a difference. Share this and help spread the message to STOP BLAMING RAPE VICTIMS.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Is Charity the New Runway?
Before i proceed to say things that may appear nasty to some, let me start off by saying that I think being involved in a charity is heart-warming. It gives you a sense of pride, belonging and accomplishment to be able to put in a smile in someone's day. Personally, I am a co-chairman of Sincere Hearts, a mini-foundation my best friend, Ekta Melwani and I set up together to help out the needy. By God's grace and support from local donators, we are standing rock solid with good funds and donations for our orphanages and old folks' home visits.
I am also extremely happy to see a lot of people being involved in charity. I must take a moment to applaud Care and Share, brought to my attention by my dear friend, Gita Sangtani, which also conducts visits and encourages donations.They recently worked together with freelance bakers in a Bake Sale, which ran successfully and raised good money to help those in need. Take a bow, guys :)
That being said, I have noticed a lot of people joining well-reputed charity groups with a half-heart. What I mean is, they join your visits, snaps for pictures, uploads them on social medias and wait for compliments such as "How nice of you to spare a sunday for the old folks". When it comes to behind-the-screens, such as packing, planning, organising, they are nowhere to be found.
Sometimes, people mislead the terms "charity" or "help" as a must of shelling out their resources. I think it is to the world's knowledge that everyone's resources are limited differently. while some may afford to spare a huge amount, some of us may be able to spare just a little bit of energy. You know that, that is perfectly all right! If you have limited resources, donate your time and energy, instead of smiling prettily and hashtagging #charity #sundayfunday #oldfolks #theartofgiving #tiredbuthappy #worthwhile without doing much of what is truly required. cape deh.
Another factor is the not-so-much-as-art of giving out old and used items. I once received a bag full of "good quality used toys" and yet when I opened the bag, it was full of broken toys, smelly dusty soft toys, old utensils and what not. I had to throw them out immediately. Well, excuse me, just because the people at the orphanages dont have much, it does not mean that we can give them crap! How? How do these people even think? do they say things like "This is broken so we cant use it, give em away, they'll probably be happy with a piece of wood that looks like nothing" ???
A wooden chopstick. Just one of it, not even a pair. Thats one of the crap I found. Like, seriously?
Torn clothes. Why would they wear clothes with broken, non-repairable zippers? Or clothes with no buttons anymore. Do you expect us to sit and sew your old trash? They can do so much better and you know it.
We create these charity groups because we have the time. Some of you may have all the money in the world but unable to provide time, so we can help you out with that. If you give us crap for donations, we treat you like crap too and have the right to refuse your "donations" in the future.
Not that we are not thankful. We would stand nowhere without your financial and non-financial help. they have helped us get through so many people and you are also responsible for their smiling faces. But, if you wish to do something, you have to do it with a full heart.
Would love to hear your thoughts!
xx
I am also extremely happy to see a lot of people being involved in charity. I must take a moment to applaud Care and Share, brought to my attention by my dear friend, Gita Sangtani, which also conducts visits and encourages donations.They recently worked together with freelance bakers in a Bake Sale, which ran successfully and raised good money to help those in need. Take a bow, guys :)
That being said, I have noticed a lot of people joining well-reputed charity groups with a half-heart. What I mean is, they join your visits, snaps for pictures, uploads them on social medias and wait for compliments such as "How nice of you to spare a sunday for the old folks". When it comes to behind-the-screens, such as packing, planning, organising, they are nowhere to be found.
Sometimes, people mislead the terms "charity" or "help" as a must of shelling out their resources. I think it is to the world's knowledge that everyone's resources are limited differently. while some may afford to spare a huge amount, some of us may be able to spare just a little bit of energy. You know that, that is perfectly all right! If you have limited resources, donate your time and energy, instead of smiling prettily and hashtagging #charity #sundayfunday #oldfolks #theartofgiving #tiredbuthappy #worthwhile without doing much of what is truly required. cape deh.
Another factor is the not-so-much-as-art of giving out old and used items. I once received a bag full of "good quality used toys" and yet when I opened the bag, it was full of broken toys, smelly dusty soft toys, old utensils and what not. I had to throw them out immediately. Well, excuse me, just because the people at the orphanages dont have much, it does not mean that we can give them crap! How? How do these people even think? do they say things like "This is broken so we cant use it, give em away, they'll probably be happy with a piece of wood that looks like nothing" ???
A wooden chopstick. Just one of it, not even a pair. Thats one of the crap I found. Like, seriously?
Torn clothes. Why would they wear clothes with broken, non-repairable zippers? Or clothes with no buttons anymore. Do you expect us to sit and sew your old trash? They can do so much better and you know it.
We create these charity groups because we have the time. Some of you may have all the money in the world but unable to provide time, so we can help you out with that. If you give us crap for donations, we treat you like crap too and have the right to refuse your "donations" in the future.
Not that we are not thankful. We would stand nowhere without your financial and non-financial help. they have helped us get through so many people and you are also responsible for their smiling faces. But, if you wish to do something, you have to do it with a full heart.
Would love to hear your thoughts!
xx
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Plan a Wedding: Not Being a Bride/Groom-zilla!
If you’re reading this article, you’re probably already married (and checking my wisecracks?), or planning your wedding, or maybe so awesomely single yet wanting to read this anyway.
Planning a wedding has never been easy, especially if you’re involved in our typical few nonstop days events that last day and night. I vividly remember taking vitamin shots just to be able to go through the process without suddenly fainting like typical Bollywood movies. Remember Kajol in DDLJ, anyone? (okay she fake-fainted but WHAT UP BOLLYWOOD REFERENCE!)
Don't get me wrong, indian weddings are fun! Brides are typically made the queen of the month and pampered with spa time, massages and lots of sleep-encouraged. Of course, I got none of those, being the control-freak, busy-body, flinching-hands that I have. But, I had solid support system from fellow brides and I must say, having advice helps build your faith that everything will be fine. So incase all brides around you have nothing to do but flaunt their rings in your face, read on, coz I got words that may change your perception on weddings!
1. Trousseau and bridal shopping
This is probably the most exciting thing we are lavished upon: full on shopping! Dresses, jeans, tops, jewelries, shoes, you know the gist. It sounds as awesome as it does but remember, set up a budget. When you go overboard in another country and are left broke, it’s not pretty. Whether you do it abroad or in town, think straight before making a purchase; there are certain things you cannot make use of after the wedding. Even for your bridal outfit, choose what makes YOU happy. Don't go all bling just coz “you have to”. I chose to go simple coz that’s how I generally am. Don't care.
2. Selecting your vendors
DO THIS NOW. RIGHT NOW if you’re planning a wedding. Sit with your groom and list down the list of vendors you consider, decide pros and cons of each, get a price quote from them and start making decisions quick. Making quick decisions does not mean making hasty calls and regretting eventually. Take the weekend to really squeeze your minds. People like event organizers, DJs, decorators, photographers, make-up artists, hotel banquet managers, choreographers, bartenders, caterers and everyone in weddings are sometimes booked a year in advance. They are amongst the busiest in the industry and if you don't move quick, the best ones will be long gone.
Luckily, both Vishal (that’s my husband btw) and I were extremely decisive in terms of calling the shots. If we say, “we’ll think about it”, it means taking only a few hours to decide. When we say, “we don't like it”, it means no one, I repeat, no one, can make us say yes with a sour face. Therefore, we faced no such things as late bookings or missing out on a great vendor. Yipppieee!
3. Effort on looking your best
If you’re a bride-to-be, you’re probably munching on a cucumber for lunch and planning a bowl of raw-and-tasteless veggies for dinner. Ugh. Yes, all girls want to look fit (please not skinny) on their wedding day and I was amongst those who had the same desire. But if I were to flashback, I remember having a larger-than-life meal once in a while because life is too short to waste on disgusting-tasting food. I’m no expert in yummy-and-healthy cooking and if you are, good for you!
I suggest: take a personal trainer. Work out often and sweat it all out. EAT WELL; you are surrounded with lots of thinking and running around, your body needs food! Don't deprive yourself of a good meal once in a while. You deserve it! No matter how much a person tries, no one and I mean no one can outstand a bride on her wedding day irrespective of her size.
I must go back to a few days prior to the wedding. It was after an amazing workout with my personal trainer (if you want a reference, call me!), and I was starving. Bored of my quinoas and home food, I went with my girls to Chilis. We ordered some fried chicken fingers, nachos and some good old coke. It felt amazing to splurge and I didn't feel guilty at all. Why should I?
4. Taking time off work
Don't hesitate to take a few months leave from work. It is almost impossible to handle both at once and if you once did, I must salute you. Then again, we were the kind of people who needed to see every bit of everything, attend every meeting, decide all things relating to the wedding, which was why this felt like a full time job. I left work (never to return as I was to move to a different city after the wedding) 2 months before the shopping trip to India. Why so long, you may ask? Well, to spend solid time at your home, sit with your folks without time issues, sharpen your wife duties (yeap!).
5. Managing your emotions
6 months before the wedding is going to be a very sensitive time gap between you and your fiancé. I’ve been told many times and didn't believe it until I faced it myself. Why so, you may ask? Firstly, there are so many different decisions to make and you may disagree on a lot. Coming to a conclusion may take lots of effort from both sides and reaching there may go through some rocky paths. The pressure is on because you’re both planning the biggest day of your life and you both want it perfect. So, obviously, its all not always a bed of roses.
Its important to remember that no matter what, you both want the wedding to happen. Keep a clear mind and listen to your partner’s opinions. At the end of the day, you’re both doing the best for each other and that's all that matters! Spend lots of time together, spend lots of time apart too! Go out with friends to have a good time and chill out. Stressing out will just add to a rough face on your day.
What we did was, go out on dates when we were not allowed to discuss the wedding. No stress, not even over-excitement, no honeymoon planning and literally go out as two people who do not have a wedding in mind. The temptation to get all excited was beyond us but it was a fresh change to go out with your “boyfriend” instead of your “fiancé” once in a while. Believe me, it works to ease out the tension and have a good time instead. You need not make it last for too long, get back home and open the wedding files again ;) after all, you’re on a deadline, girl.
6. Planning the honeymoon
This is beyond exciting! Personally, I’m an adventurer and love to travel! If my family would let me, I’d bungee jump, deep-sea dive, go mountain biking and the like. Too bad, they don’t let me live in the fast lane. Before we sidetrack, planning the honeymoon was few of the simplest things we had to do. As long as you’re set on your destination, budget, travel cites, tours, you’re fine. Weather checks are crucial! You don’t wanna freeze to death during sightseeing, or sweat too much in your pretty summer dress in an exotic tropical country. Arrange your visas much ahead of time. Imagine making your vows on the wedding day and thinking about pending paperwork for travel. Yikes!
7. Planning the performance
What’s an Indian wedding without the whole song-and-dance sequence? Unlike some other couples I know, Vishie and I decided to ensure that this side of the event was our call. We figured that in order to create a spectacular show, we’d both have to be all in for the planning. We’re both very fond dancers and enjoy watching good dance shows, so if not for ours, who else’s wedding can we be control freaks for?!
If you’re going to be involved in the performance like we did, do the discussion with your family members ahead of time, for God knows, you have a lot more to do than supervise rehearsals. Plan the songs, groups, costumes and props in advance and have a person-in-charge of selected designations. Everything else is easy to manage. The most difficult thing to manage, usually, is people. Sticking to schedules, ensuring everyone comes for rehearsals, making non-dancers shake ain’t a treat for weak hearts, believe me. But at the end of the day, we both put in our heart and soul and had the most amazing time of our lives during the show <3 if you danced at our wedding, hey, we love you!
8. Look your best and be your best
I must emphasize, stop caring about what people around you have to say about yourself and simply believe that you are beautiful. You may be the world’s ripest, sweetest apple but there is still someone who hates apples, right? Similarly, no matter how gorgeous your dress is or how much money you paid for your make-up, there is always someone who will still say mean things.
Nope, I wasn’t the bride with the world’s heaviest dress. I didn’t have extravagant layers of pancake on my face. Neither was I the slimmest person in the room. But I felt beyond bliss, simply because I chose to. I ate well (overly well at times :p), slept fine, exercised plenty, stressed a lot but relied on Vishie a lot too and took good care of myself. Ask anyone I know, and they will vouch for me when I say I was certainly not a bride-zilla ;)
Life is full of choices and I am glad that so far, I am blessed to make correct ones. With His grace, my friends and family have become my strongest support system and I love them truly.
Brides-to-be, I wish you all the best and remember that you are the world’s most gorgeous bride <3
Cheers, xx
Planning a wedding has never been easy, especially if you’re involved in our typical few nonstop days events that last day and night. I vividly remember taking vitamin shots just to be able to go through the process without suddenly fainting like typical Bollywood movies. Remember Kajol in DDLJ, anyone? (okay she fake-fainted but WHAT UP BOLLYWOOD REFERENCE!)
Don't get me wrong, indian weddings are fun! Brides are typically made the queen of the month and pampered with spa time, massages and lots of sleep-encouraged. Of course, I got none of those, being the control-freak, busy-body, flinching-hands that I have. But, I had solid support system from fellow brides and I must say, having advice helps build your faith that everything will be fine. So incase all brides around you have nothing to do but flaunt their rings in your face, read on, coz I got words that may change your perception on weddings!
1. Trousseau and bridal shopping
This is probably the most exciting thing we are lavished upon: full on shopping! Dresses, jeans, tops, jewelries, shoes, you know the gist. It sounds as awesome as it does but remember, set up a budget. When you go overboard in another country and are left broke, it’s not pretty. Whether you do it abroad or in town, think straight before making a purchase; there are certain things you cannot make use of after the wedding. Even for your bridal outfit, choose what makes YOU happy. Don't go all bling just coz “you have to”. I chose to go simple coz that’s how I generally am. Don't care.
2. Selecting your vendors
DO THIS NOW. RIGHT NOW if you’re planning a wedding. Sit with your groom and list down the list of vendors you consider, decide pros and cons of each, get a price quote from them and start making decisions quick. Making quick decisions does not mean making hasty calls and regretting eventually. Take the weekend to really squeeze your minds. People like event organizers, DJs, decorators, photographers, make-up artists, hotel banquet managers, choreographers, bartenders, caterers and everyone in weddings are sometimes booked a year in advance. They are amongst the busiest in the industry and if you don't move quick, the best ones will be long gone.
Luckily, both Vishal (that’s my husband btw) and I were extremely decisive in terms of calling the shots. If we say, “we’ll think about it”, it means taking only a few hours to decide. When we say, “we don't like it”, it means no one, I repeat, no one, can make us say yes with a sour face. Therefore, we faced no such things as late bookings or missing out on a great vendor. Yipppieee!
3. Effort on looking your best
If you’re a bride-to-be, you’re probably munching on a cucumber for lunch and planning a bowl of raw-and-tasteless veggies for dinner. Ugh. Yes, all girls want to look fit (please not skinny) on their wedding day and I was amongst those who had the same desire. But if I were to flashback, I remember having a larger-than-life meal once in a while because life is too short to waste on disgusting-tasting food. I’m no expert in yummy-and-healthy cooking and if you are, good for you!
I suggest: take a personal trainer. Work out often and sweat it all out. EAT WELL; you are surrounded with lots of thinking and running around, your body needs food! Don't deprive yourself of a good meal once in a while. You deserve it! No matter how much a person tries, no one and I mean no one can outstand a bride on her wedding day irrespective of her size.
I must go back to a few days prior to the wedding. It was after an amazing workout with my personal trainer (if you want a reference, call me!), and I was starving. Bored of my quinoas and home food, I went with my girls to Chilis. We ordered some fried chicken fingers, nachos and some good old coke. It felt amazing to splurge and I didn't feel guilty at all. Why should I?
4. Taking time off work
Don't hesitate to take a few months leave from work. It is almost impossible to handle both at once and if you once did, I must salute you. Then again, we were the kind of people who needed to see every bit of everything, attend every meeting, decide all things relating to the wedding, which was why this felt like a full time job. I left work (never to return as I was to move to a different city after the wedding) 2 months before the shopping trip to India. Why so long, you may ask? Well, to spend solid time at your home, sit with your folks without time issues, sharpen your wife duties (yeap!).
5. Managing your emotions
6 months before the wedding is going to be a very sensitive time gap between you and your fiancé. I’ve been told many times and didn't believe it until I faced it myself. Why so, you may ask? Firstly, there are so many different decisions to make and you may disagree on a lot. Coming to a conclusion may take lots of effort from both sides and reaching there may go through some rocky paths. The pressure is on because you’re both planning the biggest day of your life and you both want it perfect. So, obviously, its all not always a bed of roses.
Its important to remember that no matter what, you both want the wedding to happen. Keep a clear mind and listen to your partner’s opinions. At the end of the day, you’re both doing the best for each other and that's all that matters! Spend lots of time together, spend lots of time apart too! Go out with friends to have a good time and chill out. Stressing out will just add to a rough face on your day.
What we did was, go out on dates when we were not allowed to discuss the wedding. No stress, not even over-excitement, no honeymoon planning and literally go out as two people who do not have a wedding in mind. The temptation to get all excited was beyond us but it was a fresh change to go out with your “boyfriend” instead of your “fiancé” once in a while. Believe me, it works to ease out the tension and have a good time instead. You need not make it last for too long, get back home and open the wedding files again ;) after all, you’re on a deadline, girl.
6. Planning the honeymoon
This is beyond exciting! Personally, I’m an adventurer and love to travel! If my family would let me, I’d bungee jump, deep-sea dive, go mountain biking and the like. Too bad, they don’t let me live in the fast lane. Before we sidetrack, planning the honeymoon was few of the simplest things we had to do. As long as you’re set on your destination, budget, travel cites, tours, you’re fine. Weather checks are crucial! You don’t wanna freeze to death during sightseeing, or sweat too much in your pretty summer dress in an exotic tropical country. Arrange your visas much ahead of time. Imagine making your vows on the wedding day and thinking about pending paperwork for travel. Yikes!
7. Planning the performance
What’s an Indian wedding without the whole song-and-dance sequence? Unlike some other couples I know, Vishie and I decided to ensure that this side of the event was our call. We figured that in order to create a spectacular show, we’d both have to be all in for the planning. We’re both very fond dancers and enjoy watching good dance shows, so if not for ours, who else’s wedding can we be control freaks for?!
If you’re going to be involved in the performance like we did, do the discussion with your family members ahead of time, for God knows, you have a lot more to do than supervise rehearsals. Plan the songs, groups, costumes and props in advance and have a person-in-charge of selected designations. Everything else is easy to manage. The most difficult thing to manage, usually, is people. Sticking to schedules, ensuring everyone comes for rehearsals, making non-dancers shake ain’t a treat for weak hearts, believe me. But at the end of the day, we both put in our heart and soul and had the most amazing time of our lives during the show <3 if you danced at our wedding, hey, we love you!
8. Look your best and be your best
I must emphasize, stop caring about what people around you have to say about yourself and simply believe that you are beautiful. You may be the world’s ripest, sweetest apple but there is still someone who hates apples, right? Similarly, no matter how gorgeous your dress is or how much money you paid for your make-up, there is always someone who will still say mean things.
Nope, I wasn’t the bride with the world’s heaviest dress. I didn’t have extravagant layers of pancake on my face. Neither was I the slimmest person in the room. But I felt beyond bliss, simply because I chose to. I ate well (overly well at times :p), slept fine, exercised plenty, stressed a lot but relied on Vishie a lot too and took good care of myself. Ask anyone I know, and they will vouch for me when I say I was certainly not a bride-zilla ;)
Life is full of choices and I am glad that so far, I am blessed to make correct ones. With His grace, my friends and family have become my strongest support system and I love them truly.
Brides-to-be, I wish you all the best and remember that you are the world’s most gorgeous bride <3
Cheers, xx
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Organic Food. Heard of em. Organic for Infants? Ummmmmmm….
Let’s face it. The world is revolving. Times are changing. Fast food joints are slowly depleting. Healthy food joins are quickly exploding. People are getting healthier. They hit the gym, reduce their carbs, start stir-frying instead of deep-frying their food. I gotta say, it’s impressive. People have started becoming more concerned about health, looking good and fitness. I mean, look at what everyone eats now! Quinoa, red rice, wheat bread, unsalted butter, agave, organic cookies and what not. Go on instagram and be completely piled up in health accounts, diet food recipes, rock-hard abs and motivational quotes.
I recently joined the crew by purchasing quinoa rice, which I have to admit, is pretty good. Keeps you full for couple hours before you crave for a snack (and I’m pretty sure apples are more popular than cookies as an option). There’s a whole load of organic food as well, organic vegetables, cookies, flour and loads more.
I was recently in the organic section of the supermarket when I met a mom with her infant, a 4 year-old boy with the cutest eyes! I picked up my usual stash and got into a conversation with her, who asked me about my food options. After what seemed like a short conversation, she mentioned that she does not feed her son with any sugar. I mean, literally. No candies, no chocolates, no sugary cereals like koko krunch, no chocolate-strawberry milk, no ice-cream, zilch. She feeds him with vegetables, fruits (limited to low-sugar ones too), homemade juices and beat this: no carbs too. No rice, no bread, no pasta. As a replacement, the kid eats quinoa or red rice.
I left the place feeling…sad. I remember as a kid, I needed a reward for every time my lunch had greens in it. Broccoli and rice, and a small bar of chocolate after. If I had my fish n peas, I’d be allowed a small candy. I’m sure everyone had a similar experience as a kid. And I think we turned out okay.
What I have seen recently, is that, people tend to overdo it. Sure, you wanna be skinny like a stick and healthy as an Olympic athlete, whatever works for you. But stealing that wondrous opportunity from your kid to truly be a kid, is not fair. Every child deserves to walk in a candy store and feel like heaven. They learn to be appreciative when they wait for an ice-cream truck which finally came after a very green lunch. What happens when you take it all away from them? They grow up and splurge on lots of cake in a friend’s birthday party with the reason “I’m not allowed to have sugar at home. Please don’t tell mom”.
Putting an extremely strong whip around your kid is dangerous. Remember what happens to a horse when it is held so tightly. Loosen up a little and he runs away. Hold the horse loosely from the beginning and it stays with you throughout.
I remember the best part of my childhood. Coming home from school and having a sip of coke from my dad. But when I’ve had too much sugar that day, I’d come and say, “I had my share today. Tomorrow is good”.
I’m out, folks. Let your kid live on the edge a little, yes?
I recently joined the crew by purchasing quinoa rice, which I have to admit, is pretty good. Keeps you full for couple hours before you crave for a snack (and I’m pretty sure apples are more popular than cookies as an option). There’s a whole load of organic food as well, organic vegetables, cookies, flour and loads more.
I was recently in the organic section of the supermarket when I met a mom with her infant, a 4 year-old boy with the cutest eyes! I picked up my usual stash and got into a conversation with her, who asked me about my food options. After what seemed like a short conversation, she mentioned that she does not feed her son with any sugar. I mean, literally. No candies, no chocolates, no sugary cereals like koko krunch, no chocolate-strawberry milk, no ice-cream, zilch. She feeds him with vegetables, fruits (limited to low-sugar ones too), homemade juices and beat this: no carbs too. No rice, no bread, no pasta. As a replacement, the kid eats quinoa or red rice.
I left the place feeling…sad. I remember as a kid, I needed a reward for every time my lunch had greens in it. Broccoli and rice, and a small bar of chocolate after. If I had my fish n peas, I’d be allowed a small candy. I’m sure everyone had a similar experience as a kid. And I think we turned out okay.
What I have seen recently, is that, people tend to overdo it. Sure, you wanna be skinny like a stick and healthy as an Olympic athlete, whatever works for you. But stealing that wondrous opportunity from your kid to truly be a kid, is not fair. Every child deserves to walk in a candy store and feel like heaven. They learn to be appreciative when they wait for an ice-cream truck which finally came after a very green lunch. What happens when you take it all away from them? They grow up and splurge on lots of cake in a friend’s birthday party with the reason “I’m not allowed to have sugar at home. Please don’t tell mom”.
Putting an extremely strong whip around your kid is dangerous. Remember what happens to a horse when it is held so tightly. Loosen up a little and he runs away. Hold the horse loosely from the beginning and it stays with you throughout.
I remember the best part of my childhood. Coming home from school and having a sip of coke from my dad. But when I’ve had too much sugar that day, I’d come and say, “I had my share today. Tomorrow is good”.
I’m out, folks. Let your kid live on the edge a little, yes?
Thursday, June 20, 2013
An Eye-Opener (Hopefully) about God, Religion and the like
A dinner date with the fiancé led to a very intriguing and controversial discussion about religion, God, spirituality and loads more. Good to know that we both ended up in the same page but the conversation did not leave my mind until I knew I just had to blog it out!
Now before I proceed, I must clarify that first, I believe in God. I don’t really see Him as a third person, I see Him more as a part of one’s soul you carry forward in your life. Also, I believe in the formation of religions. It teaches us to be more tolerant towards people’s beliefs, makes us appreciate our diversity and often takes its place as a basic foundation in our lives, which optimizes your choices and your values. I am a proud Hindu and even though I don’t necessarily follow Mondays, Thursdays rule all the time, I pray and I am thankful for His blessings every waking minute of my life.
Okayyyy so enough about me in person! It all started when we read a few statuses in Facebook, quoting the Bible and the Koran. Sure, believing’s cool. Sure, you’re free to post anything you want in your social network; after all it’s your page. But, I guess some people do not know yet the limit of which those statuses are still acceptable.
Up to a certain point, posting something as “personal” as your choice of religion in a “social” network does not see to tick for me. Especially those statements about the “best religion”. I mean, c’mon, is there such a thing as the best religion??? We live in the 21st century, where we are taught and encouraged to understand, appreciate and love the fact that we are different. Claiming a religion or belief is the best certainly does not seem equivalent to tolerating others’ belief, does it? How small-minded can people be when they claim that “My God is the best? Or “claiming _______________ religion can ensure a one-way ticket to heaven!” My question is, have they died before? Have they met Him? Are they assured in any way? Pffffttttttt!
What’s ever more delusional is when people start pulling others towards entering their religion. Back to square one, whatever happened to loving others unconditionally? Are there really such people still who think like “I would prefer if we were of the same religion!” in this ever-improving world? Sad.
I am truly fortunate to have been brought up in a very open-minded house. My family does have the culture of being vegetarian every Monday. We follow it consistently when we are home for our meals. However, we were never enforced to follow it begrudgingly. Whenever there came a time when a yummy chicken sandwich appeared in front of our eyes, we could have it without needing to feel guilty. In that way, we grew up respecting our parents who taught us that as long as we are good human beings, as long as we respect people around us, as long as we don’t lie, as long as we don’t talk ill of others, what we eat do not actually matter / classify as “good” or “bad”.
Speaking about “good” and “bad”, I go back to question, who classifies things and actions into “good” and “bad”? Human, yes? And aren’t we entitled to conduct wrongdoings? Isn’t there such a thing we all know as human error? I believe so. Therefore, when someone looks me in the eye and asks me “aren’t you fasting for prayers today? Ckckckckckck so bad!” I wanna tell them, “excuse me, who died and made you God? How do you come to a conclusion that me eating as per normal as “bad”? Why do you assume that because I am not following rituals, I am a non-believer? Suddenly, I am the instant criminal. Those who judge people like that, aren’t they the ones who must be taught a lesson or two? Aren’t they the one who appear as the goody-two-shoes physically and mentally judgmental?
Questions, questions, never-ending. It disheartens me to see people who are still thinking in an extremely orthodox manner despite the fact that we are trying to understand our differences, and even more, learning and succeeding to love them.
My blog nowadays seem to rant more than express. but in a way, doesn’t ranting help “express” disappointments? ;)
Any thoughts?
Now before I proceed, I must clarify that first, I believe in God. I don’t really see Him as a third person, I see Him more as a part of one’s soul you carry forward in your life. Also, I believe in the formation of religions. It teaches us to be more tolerant towards people’s beliefs, makes us appreciate our diversity and often takes its place as a basic foundation in our lives, which optimizes your choices and your values. I am a proud Hindu and even though I don’t necessarily follow Mondays, Thursdays rule all the time, I pray and I am thankful for His blessings every waking minute of my life.
Okayyyy so enough about me in person! It all started when we read a few statuses in Facebook, quoting the Bible and the Koran. Sure, believing’s cool. Sure, you’re free to post anything you want in your social network; after all it’s your page. But, I guess some people do not know yet the limit of which those statuses are still acceptable.
Up to a certain point, posting something as “personal” as your choice of religion in a “social” network does not see to tick for me. Especially those statements about the “best religion”. I mean, c’mon, is there such a thing as the best religion??? We live in the 21st century, where we are taught and encouraged to understand, appreciate and love the fact that we are different. Claiming a religion or belief is the best certainly does not seem equivalent to tolerating others’ belief, does it? How small-minded can people be when they claim that “My God is the best? Or “claiming _______________ religion can ensure a one-way ticket to heaven!” My question is, have they died before? Have they met Him? Are they assured in any way? Pffffttttttt!
What’s ever more delusional is when people start pulling others towards entering their religion. Back to square one, whatever happened to loving others unconditionally? Are there really such people still who think like “I would prefer if we were of the same religion!” in this ever-improving world? Sad.
I am truly fortunate to have been brought up in a very open-minded house. My family does have the culture of being vegetarian every Monday. We follow it consistently when we are home for our meals. However, we were never enforced to follow it begrudgingly. Whenever there came a time when a yummy chicken sandwich appeared in front of our eyes, we could have it without needing to feel guilty. In that way, we grew up respecting our parents who taught us that as long as we are good human beings, as long as we respect people around us, as long as we don’t lie, as long as we don’t talk ill of others, what we eat do not actually matter / classify as “good” or “bad”.
Speaking about “good” and “bad”, I go back to question, who classifies things and actions into “good” and “bad”? Human, yes? And aren’t we entitled to conduct wrongdoings? Isn’t there such a thing we all know as human error? I believe so. Therefore, when someone looks me in the eye and asks me “aren’t you fasting for prayers today? Ckckckckckck so bad!” I wanna tell them, “excuse me, who died and made you God? How do you come to a conclusion that me eating as per normal as “bad”? Why do you assume that because I am not following rituals, I am a non-believer? Suddenly, I am the instant criminal. Those who judge people like that, aren’t they the ones who must be taught a lesson or two? Aren’t they the one who appear as the goody-two-shoes physically and mentally judgmental?
Questions, questions, never-ending. It disheartens me to see people who are still thinking in an extremely orthodox manner despite the fact that we are trying to understand our differences, and even more, learning and succeeding to love them.
My blog nowadays seem to rant more than express. but in a way, doesn’t ranting help “express” disappointments? ;)
Any thoughts?
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
An Example of TRULY Annoying People
My usual late night random facebooking led me to this unusual set of comments from some weird people. ok, so weird is a broad definition. you may find a whole set of adjectives to describe these people. You know how facebook has become the new online shopping zone? yeah, so i was looking at a picture of a seller selling authentic Prada satchel for Rp. 20.500.000. Steep price, yeah, but for those who can afford it, great! for those who happen to earn more than required, why not? right? not quite so, for some of these people, apparently. Check out some pictures below. (name and picture are obscured to hide their identity and for me to remain decent in blog-posting)
1.
Translated as : rather than purchasing a bag for that price, i'd rather go for umroh or "berkurban" to acquire some blessings. dont search for materialistic things but prioritize your fate at the end of your life. do some charity with the money.
2.
Translated as: better feed orphans and roadside beggars rather than making this purchase. the bag is not seen at the end but your right-doings will.
3.
Translated as: a bag cannot be carried when you die. better provide for the needy for blessings.
Now of course, there are a lot more people with similar comments but I'd rather stay ethical (although I'm pretty sure I've gone somewhat ahead of it)
Anyway, reading these made me pretty mad. How are some people truly superficial? In my opinion, these are examples of people trying to force their beliefs to others.
Point one. What people do with their own hard-earned money is up to them, yes? whether it goes for medicals, charity, luxury, or others. why do people decide what's to be done with other's income?
point two. if they can't afford it, they can go get something else they can afford. no one's forcing them to buy it.
point three. exposing blatantly that you'd rather do charity rather than anything else shows that you do charity for fame and attention instead of wanting to help. show off, kiss-as, fake good-doer. blah.
point four. sure, judge people all you want. its a free country. just dont post them on public forums. you are rude and obnoxious.
forgive my ranting, readers. I am getting a little antsie-pantsie reading about what people do on social medias lately. They forget the key point: be ethical.
cheers!
1.
Translated as : rather than purchasing a bag for that price, i'd rather go for umroh or "berkurban" to acquire some blessings. dont search for materialistic things but prioritize your fate at the end of your life. do some charity with the money.
2.
Translated as: better feed orphans and roadside beggars rather than making this purchase. the bag is not seen at the end but your right-doings will.
3.
Translated as: a bag cannot be carried when you die. better provide for the needy for blessings.
Now of course, there are a lot more people with similar comments but I'd rather stay ethical (although I'm pretty sure I've gone somewhat ahead of it)
Anyway, reading these made me pretty mad. How are some people truly superficial? In my opinion, these are examples of people trying to force their beliefs to others.
Point one. What people do with their own hard-earned money is up to them, yes? whether it goes for medicals, charity, luxury, or others. why do people decide what's to be done with other's income?
point two. if they can't afford it, they can go get something else they can afford. no one's forcing them to buy it.
point three. exposing blatantly that you'd rather do charity rather than anything else shows that you do charity for fame and attention instead of wanting to help. show off, kiss-as, fake good-doer. blah.
point four. sure, judge people all you want. its a free country. just dont post them on public forums. you are rude and obnoxious.
forgive my ranting, readers. I am getting a little antsie-pantsie reading about what people do on social medias lately. They forget the key point: be ethical.
cheers!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
STOP RAGGING/BULLYING IN SCHOOLS!
I recently watched a movie revolving around a couple who got into trouble, all because they used to rag on a person way back into the past, when they were studying. I'm not going to mention the movie name here (dont want to give spoilers) but feel free to come up and ask because the movie was TOO DAMN GOOD TO MISS!
The movie gave me a spine chill as it felt so real, so deep and so heartfelt. I instantly went into a reminiscent of my school days. Luckily, I never was a part of the whole bullying business. I was a good girl who pretty much kept to myself and my friends. I wasn't a bully but I know people who are. I saw how some of my classmates were treated and I see bullies everywhere, teasing their juniors with inappropriate actions, calling them names and using their hands...
Although, I did get bullied once. It was primary school, year 6. I was very heavy then (not proud of this) and this annoying girl kept calling me names and when I looked back, she pretended it wasn't her. She kept doing so the whole year. I ignored it. Now, I am less heavy and she is unable to lose weight after her delivery. Karma? I dont know but I feel good :p :p Anyway, I dont mean to sidetrack so lets get back on. I want this to be an eye-opener for everyone who are bullies.
Being a victim of bullies are dreadful. they fear each waking day and spend time avoiding places they might meet their bully. School/college becomes not a place of learning or fun but a place where their frightening visions come true. Consequences are severe :( some may encounter basic difficulties such as finding school torturous. but some of them go to extreme lengths such as transferring schools. some even lose their minds and turns insane of the thought of being bullied. in certain parts of america and india, some of them even commit suicide after the embarrassment. Many bullying victims take on years of therapy and treatment in order to help get over the psychological pain that bullying has caused. In many tragic cases, this type of physical and emotional toll on a person can damage their self esteem so much that it results in suicide for the bullying victim.
I asked a few people long time ago, "why do you keep bullying her/him" and their answers are pretty much standard... "its fun!", or "iseng aja", or "she's such an easy target"... yeap, some of the things you do may not matter now. but what you do today may shape someone else's future so beware of what you do. you certainly don't want the guilt of ruining someone's future. and remember, karma will come and haunt you for life.
a little bit of research here and there provided me with the following information so have a go at it:
2010
Nagedra AV, 25, was found dead in Chandigarh's prestigious Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research on 19 April. The doctor had joined this post-graduate institution just two months ago. The police said he jumped to death from the hostel building, his father said he had been pushed. His father said a day ago he had said he was finding it difficult to continue there due to ragging.
Sinmoi Debroy, 21, was found hanging from the ceiling fan, dead, in his hostel room in Chennai on 4 April. It was a private hostel shared by students of various colleges. Most of the 42 SMSes in the Assamese engineering student's mobile phone were threats and abuses from seniors, who also demanded money.
Ajub Ajith, 19, hanged himself to death from the ceiling fan in his house in Thiruvananathapuram on 31 March. He was a student of at the Sarabhai Institute of Science and Technology. He had told his mother that he was being ragged badly, but prevented her from complaining to the principal as, he said, that would make matters worse for him.
In 2010, a female student attached to the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, University of Ruhuna, was semi-paralysed in one limb as a result of ragging she underwent at the faculty canteen/
2009
On 7 March, Aman Kachroo, 19, a first year student of Dr Rajendra Prasad Medical College, Tanda, Kangra, HP, India, had repeatedly complained to his parents about the brutal ragging that took place on the Medical College campus — often by completely drunk third-year students. On Friday night and Saturday morning (March 6–7, 2009), the boy was beaten so badly that he died of brain haemorrhage.
Kelum Thushara Wijetunge, a first year student at the Hardy Technical institute in Ampara, died from a kidney failure after he was forced to do tough exercises and drink excessive quantities of liquor
2007
On 18 September Durgesh Shukla hanged himself from a ceiling fan in his hostel room in Pioneer College, Bhopal. He blamed seniors in his suicide note.
On 8 August Manjot Singh, an MBBS student, committed suicide by consuming a poisonous substance. He did so at his residence in Chandigarh, due to ragging in his hostel at the Government Medical College, Chandigarh.
2006
In November S. P. Manoj committed suicide in his hostel room at the Mahatma Gandhi Institute of Technology, Hyderabad.
On 5 November Azad Nair, 22, a cadet at the Officer's Training Academy (OTA) in Chennai. He had hanged himself from the fan of his room. Prior to his suicide he had told his brother Soumendu over telephone that he was being ragged and humiliated at the OTA and he had pleaded to his father Padmanabhan Nair to rescue him from the OTA.
2005
On 14 December C Abraham, a first year engineering student, hanged himself to death at his residence in Hyderabad. In his suicide note, he mentioned that he was not interested in studies. His parents suspected his suicide to be a result of ragging.
On 5 December Sridhar, 18, hanged himself to the ceiling fan in his hostel room in Chennai. In the English press, only one newspaper in Mumbai reported the incident.
In July Kamlesh Sarkar, 19, committed suicide in a private hotel management institute in Kalyani, Nadia district, West Bengal. The police filed an unnatural death case and not one of ragging.
in Russia, the victim of a high-profile hazing attack, Andrei Sychyov required the amputation of his legs and genitalia after he was forced to squat for three hours whilst being beaten and tortured by a group on New Year's Eve, 2005. The brutal attack on Sychyov, and its horrific consequences highlighted the widespread problem of dedovshchina – or hazing – in the Russian armed forces
I am sure the above information is more than sufficient to help people change their minds before they go around bullying. These acts are against humanity and we all should put an end to this as soon as possible to avoid more victims or deaths.
Alone, I cannot make this happen, so if you are reading this, copy paste the link to share this vital piece on information to everyone you know. Together, we can save a life today. SHARE SHARE SHARE !
Thanks to wikipedia for the research :)
The movie gave me a spine chill as it felt so real, so deep and so heartfelt. I instantly went into a reminiscent of my school days. Luckily, I never was a part of the whole bullying business. I was a good girl who pretty much kept to myself and my friends. I wasn't a bully but I know people who are. I saw how some of my classmates were treated and I see bullies everywhere, teasing their juniors with inappropriate actions, calling them names and using their hands...
Although, I did get bullied once. It was primary school, year 6. I was very heavy then (not proud of this) and this annoying girl kept calling me names and when I looked back, she pretended it wasn't her. She kept doing so the whole year. I ignored it. Now, I am less heavy and she is unable to lose weight after her delivery. Karma? I dont know but I feel good :p :p Anyway, I dont mean to sidetrack so lets get back on. I want this to be an eye-opener for everyone who are bullies.
Being a victim of bullies are dreadful. they fear each waking day and spend time avoiding places they might meet their bully. School/college becomes not a place of learning or fun but a place where their frightening visions come true. Consequences are severe :( some may encounter basic difficulties such as finding school torturous. but some of them go to extreme lengths such as transferring schools. some even lose their minds and turns insane of the thought of being bullied. in certain parts of america and india, some of them even commit suicide after the embarrassment. Many bullying victims take on years of therapy and treatment in order to help get over the psychological pain that bullying has caused. In many tragic cases, this type of physical and emotional toll on a person can damage their self esteem so much that it results in suicide for the bullying victim.
I asked a few people long time ago, "why do you keep bullying her/him" and their answers are pretty much standard... "its fun!", or "iseng aja", or "she's such an easy target"... yeap, some of the things you do may not matter now. but what you do today may shape someone else's future so beware of what you do. you certainly don't want the guilt of ruining someone's future. and remember, karma will come and haunt you for life.
a little bit of research here and there provided me with the following information so have a go at it:
2010
Nagedra AV, 25, was found dead in Chandigarh's prestigious Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research on 19 April. The doctor had joined this post-graduate institution just two months ago. The police said he jumped to death from the hostel building, his father said he had been pushed. His father said a day ago he had said he was finding it difficult to continue there due to ragging.
Sinmoi Debroy, 21, was found hanging from the ceiling fan, dead, in his hostel room in Chennai on 4 April. It was a private hostel shared by students of various colleges. Most of the 42 SMSes in the Assamese engineering student's mobile phone were threats and abuses from seniors, who also demanded money.
Ajub Ajith, 19, hanged himself to death from the ceiling fan in his house in Thiruvananathapuram on 31 March. He was a student of at the Sarabhai Institute of Science and Technology. He had told his mother that he was being ragged badly, but prevented her from complaining to the principal as, he said, that would make matters worse for him.
In 2010, a female student attached to the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, University of Ruhuna, was semi-paralysed in one limb as a result of ragging she underwent at the faculty canteen/
2009
On 7 March, Aman Kachroo, 19, a first year student of Dr Rajendra Prasad Medical College, Tanda, Kangra, HP, India, had repeatedly complained to his parents about the brutal ragging that took place on the Medical College campus — often by completely drunk third-year students. On Friday night and Saturday morning (March 6–7, 2009), the boy was beaten so badly that he died of brain haemorrhage.
Kelum Thushara Wijetunge, a first year student at the Hardy Technical institute in Ampara, died from a kidney failure after he was forced to do tough exercises and drink excessive quantities of liquor
2007
On 18 September Durgesh Shukla hanged himself from a ceiling fan in his hostel room in Pioneer College, Bhopal. He blamed seniors in his suicide note.
On 8 August Manjot Singh, an MBBS student, committed suicide by consuming a poisonous substance. He did so at his residence in Chandigarh, due to ragging in his hostel at the Government Medical College, Chandigarh.
2006
In November S. P. Manoj committed suicide in his hostel room at the Mahatma Gandhi Institute of Technology, Hyderabad.
On 5 November Azad Nair, 22, a cadet at the Officer's Training Academy (OTA) in Chennai. He had hanged himself from the fan of his room. Prior to his suicide he had told his brother Soumendu over telephone that he was being ragged and humiliated at the OTA and he had pleaded to his father Padmanabhan Nair to rescue him from the OTA.
2005
On 14 December C Abraham, a first year engineering student, hanged himself to death at his residence in Hyderabad. In his suicide note, he mentioned that he was not interested in studies. His parents suspected his suicide to be a result of ragging.
On 5 December Sridhar, 18, hanged himself to the ceiling fan in his hostel room in Chennai. In the English press, only one newspaper in Mumbai reported the incident.
In July Kamlesh Sarkar, 19, committed suicide in a private hotel management institute in Kalyani, Nadia district, West Bengal. The police filed an unnatural death case and not one of ragging.
in Russia, the victim of a high-profile hazing attack, Andrei Sychyov required the amputation of his legs and genitalia after he was forced to squat for three hours whilst being beaten and tortured by a group on New Year's Eve, 2005. The brutal attack on Sychyov, and its horrific consequences highlighted the widespread problem of dedovshchina – or hazing – in the Russian armed forces
I am sure the above information is more than sufficient to help people change their minds before they go around bullying. These acts are against humanity and we all should put an end to this as soon as possible to avoid more victims or deaths.
Alone, I cannot make this happen, so if you are reading this, copy paste the link to share this vital piece on information to everyone you know. Together, we can save a life today. SHARE SHARE SHARE !
Thanks to wikipedia for the research :)
Monday, March 18, 2013
PROUD to be Indian !
It's 1am on a Monday night. random facebooking led me to find a very old string of comments on one of my friend's profile pictures. the comments startled me to no end. it was all about why indians are smelly, poor, black, lazy and what not. it went on to say that we are unworthy people who do not speak english, and tend to live off our parents money until we get married. it went on, but i'll stop here. what disturbed me what not the fact that our race was insulted. what annoyed me was the fact that we are living in the 21st century, and still have uneducated, uncivilized people who have no better jobs to do but stereotype people like that. dont they realize? we live in a multi-culture world and our race is among one of the vastest one to explore.
so for all of you who still think of us as one of the above, if you have a heart, read on. if not, go back and stay in your rat hole.
First of all, we are not all about the slums! if you're dumb enough to think India is nothing but "slumdog millionaire", go back and google Taj Mahal, The Golden Temple and The Pink City. The country is among the quickest to develop and boasts some of the most beautiful scenic environment. Parts of India, yes, are slums, but dont be so quick as to classify us as poor people living in dirt.
Second, we are not all uneducated. The country produces the most doctors, engineers and software analysts annually. Go ahead to IBM in the US. Go and see south indians filling up the office floors. No joke.
Food-mongers, not all indian food give you stomach ache. they dont serve you crappy, dirty food. not all of them, at least :p. if you can't handle the spice, go and eat your usual dose of boring. *I really have to recommend chicken biryani, butter chicken and cheese naan and pani puri!*
One of the most recent notion is that indian women must stay home and be a housewife. not true. some of the brightest pediatricians, dentists, designers and chefs in india are women, they have full time jobs and do more than just providing their family. and one second, even if they all turn up to be housewives, let me just say this. they do EVERYTHING without household help. they act as nurses (we aint got no babysitters!), caretakers of their inlaws (yes we stay with out inlaws and love them as much as our parents), look into the house (clean, sweep, mop, cook, wash, iron, dry) and so much more. that's power, people.
we most certainly do not smell. for God's sake, im not even going to try to explain this one.
Bugger of on the accent! at least we can speak English without missing out on 2nd grade grammar.
we live with our parents until we marry. we do not move out when we are 18. we do not move out when we go to college. although that is personal choice, we believe that a family should stay together. we believe in unity, togetherness and the value of a family.
we are so much more than "kuch kuch hota hai". we hate walking on the street and being called with the theme song. it's not funny anymore.
i guess that pretty much sums most of the disgusting stereotypes ive recently heard and seen. this post does not mean to offend anyone in anyway. Tt was all about taking a stand for my people, my country and myself.
much love xx
so for all of you who still think of us as one of the above, if you have a heart, read on. if not, go back and stay in your rat hole.
First of all, we are not all about the slums! if you're dumb enough to think India is nothing but "slumdog millionaire", go back and google Taj Mahal, The Golden Temple and The Pink City. The country is among the quickest to develop and boasts some of the most beautiful scenic environment. Parts of India, yes, are slums, but dont be so quick as to classify us as poor people living in dirt.
Second, we are not all uneducated. The country produces the most doctors, engineers and software analysts annually. Go ahead to IBM in the US. Go and see south indians filling up the office floors. No joke.
Food-mongers, not all indian food give you stomach ache. they dont serve you crappy, dirty food. not all of them, at least :p. if you can't handle the spice, go and eat your usual dose of boring. *I really have to recommend chicken biryani, butter chicken and cheese naan and pani puri!*
One of the most recent notion is that indian women must stay home and be a housewife. not true. some of the brightest pediatricians, dentists, designers and chefs in india are women, they have full time jobs and do more than just providing their family. and one second, even if they all turn up to be housewives, let me just say this. they do EVERYTHING without household help. they act as nurses (we aint got no babysitters!), caretakers of their inlaws (yes we stay with out inlaws and love them as much as our parents), look into the house (clean, sweep, mop, cook, wash, iron, dry) and so much more. that's power, people.
we most certainly do not smell. for God's sake, im not even going to try to explain this one.
Bugger of on the accent! at least we can speak English without missing out on 2nd grade grammar.
we live with our parents until we marry. we do not move out when we are 18. we do not move out when we go to college. although that is personal choice, we believe that a family should stay together. we believe in unity, togetherness and the value of a family.
we are so much more than "kuch kuch hota hai". we hate walking on the street and being called with the theme song. it's not funny anymore.
i guess that pretty much sums most of the disgusting stereotypes ive recently heard and seen. this post does not mean to offend anyone in anyway. Tt was all about taking a stand for my people, my country and myself.
much love xx
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Forever in Our Hearts-Our One and Only, We Miss You
This piece I write, is to remember a special lady, and is a platform to revive the old memories we have of her. This piece I write, is not something to exaggerate her strength, or undermine her fears.
She was my aunt, almost like a mother to me. She was joyful, kind, always smiling and was never the one to give up. She was a sister to my father, a daughter to my grandmother, a wife to my dear uncle, a mother to my favorite people of all times. She was my Didi Umeeta, who dedicated her life to make life meaningful for her children and husband. She was one to value every breath of life, and one who always advised me that education is the most powerful tool in the world.
As a child, my grandma told me, she was vivacious, lovable and obedient. She loved her parents and siblings and was always much loved, being the youngest of the three. As a good daughter, she would dotingly call my grandma many times a day, no matter how packed her schedule was, just to say “hi, mom!”, buy that round filling-less bread from BreadTalk my grandma loves and buy slippers for her. Her cakes, oh don’t get me started, her cakes are the reasons to failed diets. Whenever we found out she was baking, we would have a small lunch portion to allow some gobbling during tea time ☺
As a mother and my aunt, she would take us out for dinners, lunches, playlands, shopping and more. I remember my trip to India with her, where she preferred to sit in Starbucks the whole transit, but ended up roaming around with me to satisfy the 12-year-old’s desire to see the whole of Changi. As a much chubbier me, she would give me dresses to try and when they didn’t fit, she would tell me to keep it for “next time”… Guess what, as I am writing this, I am wearing one of her dresses she passed me ☺
Nope, none of the above would justify her as a human being enough.
When we found out that something inside her was damaging her, our hearts broke. She was young, all of 40 years old with her whole life ahead of her. She didn’t deserve to be going so fast… but she was, slowly and slowly….
2 years. It took her 2 long years to finally receive her peace and solace. Unbelievable pain, mental trauma and worry for her family above her trial towards triumph.
It brings a smile on my face to remember that during those 2 years, not one moment she complained about her health, not one moment she blamed God, not one second she wished this illness on somebody else. She got through all of it with a smile on her face, prayers, positivity, courage and faith that everything would be ok. She was one of the bravest people I knew, who handled this ordeal of life with such braveness.
We celebrated her last Christmas in the comfort of her house, with gifts, Santa and children. She looked healthy and happy as ever. A few days later, she was back where she needed to be, under the hands of a doctor…
My birthday. 20th January 2012, she took her last breath under life support. I was one of the few lucky ones who got to say goodbye, and I whispered my promise into her ears, which only she and I know of ☺ The day I celebrated the beginning of my life, was the day we celebrated the end of her tough ordeal, something she didn’t deserve to live with…
We miss her and we wished she was still between us today, happy, healthy and still baking. But her departure was not seen as a battle we had lost, it was a battle she had won, finally won, and deservingly won…
You all will be happy to know that her baking lives on, in the form of her blessed daughter, my sister Neelu, who bakes as good as her mom did. I am so proud of her today, who kept her mom’s dream alive, simply by being as talented as her mom was… And we still get super hungry when we hear Neelu is baking ☺
Forever in our hearts you will be, Di…we love you
She was my aunt, almost like a mother to me. She was joyful, kind, always smiling and was never the one to give up. She was a sister to my father, a daughter to my grandmother, a wife to my dear uncle, a mother to my favorite people of all times. She was my Didi Umeeta, who dedicated her life to make life meaningful for her children and husband. She was one to value every breath of life, and one who always advised me that education is the most powerful tool in the world.
As a child, my grandma told me, she was vivacious, lovable and obedient. She loved her parents and siblings and was always much loved, being the youngest of the three. As a good daughter, she would dotingly call my grandma many times a day, no matter how packed her schedule was, just to say “hi, mom!”, buy that round filling-less bread from BreadTalk my grandma loves and buy slippers for her. Her cakes, oh don’t get me started, her cakes are the reasons to failed diets. Whenever we found out she was baking, we would have a small lunch portion to allow some gobbling during tea time ☺
As a mother and my aunt, she would take us out for dinners, lunches, playlands, shopping and more. I remember my trip to India with her, where she preferred to sit in Starbucks the whole transit, but ended up roaming around with me to satisfy the 12-year-old’s desire to see the whole of Changi. As a much chubbier me, she would give me dresses to try and when they didn’t fit, she would tell me to keep it for “next time”… Guess what, as I am writing this, I am wearing one of her dresses she passed me ☺
Nope, none of the above would justify her as a human being enough.
When we found out that something inside her was damaging her, our hearts broke. She was young, all of 40 years old with her whole life ahead of her. She didn’t deserve to be going so fast… but she was, slowly and slowly….
2 years. It took her 2 long years to finally receive her peace and solace. Unbelievable pain, mental trauma and worry for her family above her trial towards triumph.
It brings a smile on my face to remember that during those 2 years, not one moment she complained about her health, not one moment she blamed God, not one second she wished this illness on somebody else. She got through all of it with a smile on her face, prayers, positivity, courage and faith that everything would be ok. She was one of the bravest people I knew, who handled this ordeal of life with such braveness.
We celebrated her last Christmas in the comfort of her house, with gifts, Santa and children. She looked healthy and happy as ever. A few days later, she was back where she needed to be, under the hands of a doctor…
My birthday. 20th January 2012, she took her last breath under life support. I was one of the few lucky ones who got to say goodbye, and I whispered my promise into her ears, which only she and I know of ☺ The day I celebrated the beginning of my life, was the day we celebrated the end of her tough ordeal, something she didn’t deserve to live with…
We miss her and we wished she was still between us today, happy, healthy and still baking. But her departure was not seen as a battle we had lost, it was a battle she had won, finally won, and deservingly won…
You all will be happy to know that her baking lives on, in the form of her blessed daughter, my sister Neelu, who bakes as good as her mom did. I am so proud of her today, who kept her mom’s dream alive, simply by being as talented as her mom was… And we still get super hungry when we hear Neelu is baking ☺
Forever in our hearts you will be, Di…we love you
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Ways to Make Your Life More Meaningful
Okay, before we get in too deep, let me first clarify that I am not a 70-year-old philosopher who has lived life fruitfully. Neither am i a certified self-help speaker who gives books a run for their money. I am your typical 24-year-old who turns the couch pillow when I spill ice-cream or pesto sauce. But, I have recently found ways to make me smile wider and thank more, as compared to the grouchy lil one complaining for every little mishap, as little as the lost wi-fi connection.
So below are few ways I found interesting to add lil happiness into our otherwise dull life (sometimes!). Not necessarily in the following order:
1. Get a job you love
Simple tip, yet so helpful. I have always been lucky enough with my jobs, job title and job description. But I know people who often complain and they wake up every day ruing about the fact that they have to go to work. I mean, you work at least 5 times a week, 8 hours a day. That's more time you spend at home, isn't it? Life's too long to be stuck in the wrong job. Be brave enough and hand in that resignation. PS: first find out what you actually love before suing me for being jobless :p
2. Spend time with children
I work in a school and children are my daily routine. I find that their innocence are irreplaceable and they somehow have a way to win your heart. I have also have my young cousins, aged 7, 5 and 4 who are siblings. You can imagine my babysitting sessions once a week!
3. Spare (and value!) quality time with our folks
Most of us go out with our folks because "we were asked to come along". So wrong. Our parents, yes, they do have their ways at times, but when you find time to listen, you find ways where you find youself to be so similar to them. Ways you could never value if you didn't know them.
4. do some charity
My Sincere Hearts partner, Ekta Melwani and the rest of my crew are sweethearts! They have helped make this dream of ours come true. I find that this point brings out the gratefulness in you, and a certain feeling of satisfaction to your life, knowing that you made at least someone smile today. Not much money to spare? Donate blood to PMI. Health conditions don't support? donate some energy just by helping out :)
5. Click more photos
May they be the duckface, goofy face, pretty face or with your friends, family, special someone or a selfie, photos are fun! No explanation required, I believe?
6. find people who you truly laugh with
Life is way too complicating to be with people who make it even more so. Let go of people who burden you and stick around those who give you tummy aches from laughing.
7. pamper yourself
For you who overthink before spending time or money, ITS OKAY! its okay to get that expensive manicure, its okay to buy more than just one pair of shoes, its okay to facebook endlessly, its okay to have a little more french fries, its okay to lick that cream cheese of the red velvet, its okay! AS LONG AS you keep it under control. SOMETIMES is the key word. Also, spend more time doing what you love, may they be dancing, singing or the like.
Following the above have made me a little happier and I hope you find them helpful too!!!
Much love
So below are few ways I found interesting to add lil happiness into our otherwise dull life (sometimes!). Not necessarily in the following order:
1. Get a job you love
Simple tip, yet so helpful. I have always been lucky enough with my jobs, job title and job description. But I know people who often complain and they wake up every day ruing about the fact that they have to go to work. I mean, you work at least 5 times a week, 8 hours a day. That's more time you spend at home, isn't it? Life's too long to be stuck in the wrong job. Be brave enough and hand in that resignation. PS: first find out what you actually love before suing me for being jobless :p
2. Spend time with children
I work in a school and children are my daily routine. I find that their innocence are irreplaceable and they somehow have a way to win your heart. I have also have my young cousins, aged 7, 5 and 4 who are siblings. You can imagine my babysitting sessions once a week!
3. Spare (and value!) quality time with our folks
Most of us go out with our folks because "we were asked to come along". So wrong. Our parents, yes, they do have their ways at times, but when you find time to listen, you find ways where you find youself to be so similar to them. Ways you could never value if you didn't know them.
4. do some charity
My Sincere Hearts partner, Ekta Melwani and the rest of my crew are sweethearts! They have helped make this dream of ours come true. I find that this point brings out the gratefulness in you, and a certain feeling of satisfaction to your life, knowing that you made at least someone smile today. Not much money to spare? Donate blood to PMI. Health conditions don't support? donate some energy just by helping out :)
5. Click more photos
May they be the duckface, goofy face, pretty face or with your friends, family, special someone or a selfie, photos are fun! No explanation required, I believe?
6. find people who you truly laugh with
Life is way too complicating to be with people who make it even more so. Let go of people who burden you and stick around those who give you tummy aches from laughing.
7. pamper yourself
For you who overthink before spending time or money, ITS OKAY! its okay to get that expensive manicure, its okay to buy more than just one pair of shoes, its okay to facebook endlessly, its okay to have a little more french fries, its okay to lick that cream cheese of the red velvet, its okay! AS LONG AS you keep it under control. SOMETIMES is the key word. Also, spend more time doing what you love, may they be dancing, singing or the like.
Following the above have made me a little happier and I hope you find them helpful too!!!
Much love
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