10 Things We Need to Learn to Do Ourselves

As an Indian, we are taught to value our culture of living with our parents until we get married and eventually move in with our husband and his parents. Sons are taught to remain to live with his folks and add on to the happiness by bringing his wife to the house, and take care of his parents when they grow old. This is a value I treasure a lot and yes, I live with my in-laws happily and willingly.

This isn’t exactly why I wrote this blog article. What I want to discuss is the fact that we are very rarely alone as we are always accompanied by at least someone on a daily basis, seeing that we live with a lot of people at home, as opposed to a large proportion of the Western community who tend to move out when they reach a fruitful age of 18, on average. Therefore, when we reach a point of time when we are left alone, we tend to disregard the infinite possibilities of what to do with the time.

I have compiled a list of things we absolutely must learn to do ALONE in our lives, and also try to do them at least once if they sound rather uncomfortable. I must admit, I haven’t done everything yet, but have received recommendations from those who have.

1.     Dine
How often are our Saturday nights filled with friends, family and frenzy? It takes solid security to get decked up, walk in a fancy restaurant and have a meal all by yourself. People may stare and wonder if we have been stood up, but who cares? I find it a liberating experience to have no one to share good food with (tee-hee) and devour every bite and enjoy our own thoughts. I am yet to do this in a fancy restaurant, but I have had fast food in a crowded mall on a Saturday for lunch. I am guessing that counts?

2.     Hit the cinema
Now this may be a bit of a challenge. Can we really sit through a 2-hour movie and not have anybody known beside you? YES YES YES! You probably want to avoid Saturday nights if you’re a bit insecure but otherwise, go for it. Admittedly, my last “alone movie time” was 4 years ago when I had a solid 5-hours break between class at campus and a student committee meeting and have yet to do it again, My husband, Vicky does this all the time, seeing that he loves the movies and does not force me into watching genres I hate.

3.     Cook for yourself
Imagine a scenario where you come back after a long day at work and find nobody at home to have dinner with. An efficient way to feed yourself would probably call for fast food home delivery meal, as we often think “why go through so much kitchen trouble for just me?” where in fact, cooking for yourself can be rather satisfying. I am not talking about instant noodles and easy mac-n-cheese, but solid food with pretty plating you would normally serve other people. I usually go for grilled chicken or home-made pizza with multiple toppings and some garlic bread and coleslaw. I did this a couple of times and enjoy the food with a good movie. Best time ever!

4.     Drive to a whole new place
If you’re an adventurer and are blessed with a car and the ability to drive, hit the roads and visit a place you don’t normally go by yourself as you’re unsure of how to get there. I promise you, this is incredibly emancipating when you finally succeed. Points to note though: go during daytime when there are people to ask road help from, make sure you have your tank filled up, drive safe and choose a timing when traffic will not bother you much. My personal experience: my mom-in-law and I would take turns in going to the market to shop for groceries for home and Perigon Fitness and Cafe, run by Vick and I. I used to need the driver to take me there but once I gathered the courage to head there by myself, I have been unstoppable :p

5.     Use a public transport to get home
I’ll get straight to the point. I was in Pondok Indah Mall, a long way from my home in Sunter, totally alone after exchanging a bag I bought. I was already on the taxi stand when I realized I forgot to hit the ATM and chose to use the TransJakarta bus to get home. Multiple bus exchanges and a extra-short cab ride later, I was home. It took me a long time but I felt liberated by the fact that I managed in inconvenient situations. Point to note again: daytime is recommended and opt for a reliable public transport service.

6.     Workout
Gym buddies are buddies for life, aren’t they? Admit it, you have skipped so many gym sessions because your gym buddy is busy. I myself often rely on others to hit the gym. But when you gather the will power to step it on, gymming alone can be fun, provided you have good music on.

7.     Enjoy a glass of wine or champagne at home
Drinking is often socially acceptable in large groups or dinners with friends. But, nobody says we can’t enjoy a glass of our personal favorite at home when we’re alone. However, we must consider our personal alcohol consumption capability. If we can only handle a smidgen, gulping the entire bottle may leave a hot mess for your home-mates when they find you asleep on the floor. Not exactly a pretty picture.

8.     Enjoy an entire slice of cake
Before you start judging, I said slice, not the entire cake, although the idea is ravishing. In an era where people are increasingly health-conscious, how often do we finish an entire slice of cake? Although you begin by intending to wipe your plate clean, people around us will start spooning around “for a bite” and you’re left with half. Take the opportunity and be a little daredevil: finish the cake! When you feel a little hefty post the conquer, refer to no.6 ;)

9.     Go shopping
I don’t know how most guys do their shopping, but we girls ask most of our girlfriends before buying an outfit. Do yourself the honor this time and hit the mall alone. Rely on your personal choice and avoid awkward budget confrontations. After all, you’re wearing what you’re buying. Take control of what you like for yourself.

10. Attend a party/wedding invitation alone
Can’t write much about this, as I am yet to check this off my list. It may seem a little intimidating to enter a huge ballroom full of people and crossing your fingers to find someone you know, but this is one challenge I think I will take on sometime.

Do you have anything you like to do when you’re alone? I’d love to hear about it! Hope this post inspires. xx

Underage Drinking-Does if Effectively Introduce Alcohol?

Before proceeding to read the contents of this article, I kindly request everybody to keep an open mind as the article contains scientific and opinioned excerpts on alcoholism and underage drinking, which is not exactly black and white areas; they are differently seen upon by different people; some approve while others may not.

We live at a time and age where our parents lean towards friend figures as opposed to the pressure of ethical behavior. Our parents are more up-to-date in terms of fashion, music, movies and everything else in general. We are able to watch an intimate scene in a movie with our folks and not cringe as much as we did before. We can easily pull off wearing a skirt somewhat shorter than we were allowed to wear before, simply because our parents are quickly learning and adapting to the new age, and I must say, we don’t give them enough credit. Parents everywhere, you are awesome!

One thing that I’ve noticed children do with their parents now is alcohol consumption.  Up to a certain point, I applaud these parents who keep an open mind and share these vivid experiences with their kids. However, the age of alcohol introduction is somewhat disturbing. The legal drinking age in most states is 17 years old, and a lot of children below that age are already introduced to alcohol (they may be introduced by the community outside their homes, but this blog specifically discusses home-based alcohol consumption).

Yes, some scientific reasoning have found that introducing alcohol at an early age discloses several advantages such as being more connected to your children, encompassing confidence in your child (they sense the trust infiltrated by parents in them) and a way of harm-minimisation (a term used to describe letting children drink small amounts of alcohol under supervision before they let loose elsewhere).

However, many studies have been conducted over the past few years, which will be enclosed in the following paragraphs:

International data suggests introducing alcohol to teenagers isn’t a way to protect them. Indicating that the earlier a child is introduced to alcohol, the more likely they are to develop problems with alcohol later in life (National Center on Addition and Substance Abuse, 2002).

Scientists currently are examining just how alcohol affects the developing brain, but it’s a difficult task. Subtle changes in the brain may be difficult to detect but still have a significant impact on long-term thinking and memory skills. Add to this the fact that adolescent brains are still maturing, and the study of alcohol’s effects becomes even more complex.

Elevated liver enzymes, indicating some degree of liver damage, have been found in some adolescents who drink alcohol. Young drinkers who are overweight or obese showed elevated liver enzymes even with only moderate levels of drinking.

In both males and females, puberty is a period associated with marked hormonal changes, including increases in the sex hormones, estrogen and testosterone. These hormones, in turn, increase production of other hormones and growth factors, which are vital for normal organ development. Drinking alcohol during this period of rapid growth and development (prior to or during puberty) may upset the critical hormonal balance necessary for normal development of organs, muscles, and bones. Studies in animals also show that consuming alcohol during puberty adversely affects the maturation of the reproductive system.

Obviously, this is not a petition to stop alcohol. This is a mere reminder that anything taken in excess will be of harm to the adolescent body. Can we stop growing children from drinking alcohol? Absolutely not, but we can prevent them from binge-drinking.

There are much better ways to introduce alcohol to your children other than making them take sips regularly;

▪   choose a time when you are both relaxed rather than lecturing them when they aren’t in the right mood

▪   tailor the content and language to your own child and ask questions to make sure that they understand what you are saying

▪   explain the specific harms of alcohol use while their brain is still developing

▪   cover themes such as the positive and negative aspects of alcohol use

▪   encourage them to talk about their own perceptions and assumptions and correct any misconceptions

▪   communicate your expectations about their alcohol consumption

Trust me enough to know that when the time is right, your kid is probably going to know more about alcohol from their social surroundings ;)

Until them, hope this helps xx

Happy Birthday, Boi! This will make you smile! :)

My dearest not-so-little brother Boy
On your 22nd birthday, I know what you wanted more than anything is for me to come down and celebrate the 9th of May with you, but as luck has it, it’s not quite happening. So, to make it up to you, I’m listing down 22 memories we have growing up ☺ Read on!

1. Sharing a room always our entire lives! Those bunk beds we had, taking turns to decide who sleeps on the top bed, bugging dad to take it apart for a change sometimes. Few years later, we get our own rooms but barely used yours. The folks kept wondering what was the effort for anyway?
2. How you used to sit outside every morning (let’s not mention why) while I wait for the school bus to come get me. We even have a picture of me trying to use one of your pen-type toys.
3. Waiting for Bobo magazine every Thursday morning before school when were in primary school. We somehow end up fighting over who gets to read it first. I keep winning. Should have just let you, though. My bad.
4. The way you fell off the marble lobby stage in Tanjung Lesung a gazillion years ago. LOL
5. You were so happy when you received a gift from a total Caucasian stranger for New Year’s in Bali. It was an intricate ship-design showpiece, yes?
6. One of my favourites: Recall that Chandra dude who used to bully you in school? I remember wanting to bust his butt so many times but knew you could take care of yourself. Where is he now, anyway?
7. Buying bubur ayam and having it in the new school canteen in the morning, coz we were always the earliest! Mom and her teacher’s work hours :s
8. Morning assembly when I always asked you to either read the prayer, news or thought of the day as you were the easiest fellow Lincoln house members to grab. You would always agree as long as I was the one to look for the news. Whatevs.
9. Watching Lizzie McGuire, Even Stevens and That’s So Raven everyday after school while having lunch.
10. When we discovered a wonderful thing called FRIENDS. And watched it every day, and mouthing Chandler’s funny one-liners.
11. Another favorite: how we waited for everyone to sleep and we would sneak in to the kitchen to make Indomi goreng and steal 2 cans of Coke. While watching Friends, of course. McDonalds and HokBen midnight delivery never gets old either. Used to miss it big time when you were Bangalore. It didn’t seem right to order just one Happy Meal.
12. The fact that you have the best sense of humor amongst all of us back at home. You are literally hilarious! Whenever you weren’t around, we would always say things like “If Boy was here, he would say…..”
13. Teaching you Accounts and Business Studies. OMG torture. Do you remember the function of a BRS, Hitesh Vasnani? Coz I remember it al too well from the countless number of times I’ve explained you :p
14. Another wonderful discovery called Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone. And hello, its time you admit I was the one who told you to watch it. I bought the VCD (yes it was on VCD) from Pasar Baru with Mom and rushed home to watch it with you.
15. Another Harry Potter memory: we were watching HP and the Chamber of Secrets in Ekta’s house. It was during an intense scene when the phone rang and you fell off the bed! Hahahahahah
16. How we were good and bad at exact opposites. You were a whiz at IT and least in Commerce, and me, the exact opposites. When we got our proficiencies for our respective subjects, Mom and Dad weren’t exactly surprised, were they?
17. The night before you went to India. We struggled SO HARD to not be drama queens about it. Yeah, failed big time, didn’t we. I distinctly remember crying myself to sleep that night. Acted all chilled when you left for the airport, and then crying again afterwards. When I finally calmed myself down, I found a drawing you made for me. The Bluetooth joke. And then, I cried and laughed at the same time. It was not attractive.
18. Our “chill-chill” mandatory TehBotol sessions. No wonder we were so damn overweight. Meh.
19. Going to play with Soham, Avisha and Anaya everytime we had spare time.
20. Waiting for you to come back home every 6 months. The longest few days ever. You all used to tease how I love fetching you from the airport but absolutely refuse to drop you off for the airport-type goodbyes.
21. Having a vacation, literally, in my trousseau shopping in India. Teasing Neelu on how much time she took in the shower and eating at the Punjab food stall every other day in Karol Bagh, Delhi. We even kept their take-out menu bahahahhaha. OH, having you come back home for good, just in time for my wedding! That called for a double celebration!
22. Lastly, this memory right here; me sitting down, listing down this blog and having you in my mind, not exactly a “together” memory, but its one that kept me smiling for 45 minutes nonstop while writing this.

Happy Birthday, my lil brother, my confidante, my best friend <3 a="" all="" always.="" always="" and="" apart="" are="" as="" be="" been="" best="" but="" couple="" day.="" days="" deserve.="" every="" fail="" favorite="" for="" happiness="" have="" i="" in="" is="" kept="" last="" life="" love="" many="" memories="" mind="" minute="" most="" my="" nbsp="" never="" o:p="" of="" other="" person="" pop="" spent="" that="" the="" to="" treat.="" us="" vick="" waiting="" were="" what="" will="" wish="" with="" world="" year="" years="" you.="" you="">

"Life-Tips" from a Fellow Survivor

If you are someone who absolutely hates reading self-help books, welcome to my world. I used to find it extraneous to read about how other people think I should live my life. Over the years, the more I avoided reading them, the more I encountered them whilst growing up (FYI, I think I have a lot of growing up left so I’m not preaching here yo).

Most of the “life tips” we’ve read out there give rather general advice such as; drink lots of water, smile often, help strangers, do more charity, pick up and thrive on a hobby and what not. We rarely hear practical counsel, which is truly what we need in a whirlwind world as today. So to speak, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve experimented with getting to know my surroundings better, being more adaptive, sensitive and responsive to the happenings around me and compiled a list of “life tips” that I think and hope may help you. Of course, no one can truly make a judgment call if the following are right or wrong. They are compatible to me but not necessarily to you. If they are, and they help, even if it is just for one person, I consider myself privileged.

1. Sometimes, we tend to take our spouses for granted because “they understand us more than others”. You may end up pleasing your parents, in-laws, children and everyone else first before your spouse. Recently, a brilliant person stated that your spouse would be the only one by your side when everyone else goes away. Your parents will not be with you forever, your children will grow up and find their comfort zone somewhere, friends come and go, relatives have other relatives to attend to. But your significant other has nowhere else to go but stick by you through good and through trying times. Make them as your number one priority. When you’re both old and wrinkly, you will only have each other to create your own happiness in your own little world.

2. I’m sure you have encountered a time when you are in a restaurant with someone, and they act all sweet, adorable and charming and you pat yourself on the back for a great find but yet, when the waiter comes, they treat him like a 16th century slave by speaking rudely and belittling them. Or an occurrence similar as such when people who seem to have impeccable manners speak to others in a derogatory manner, especially when those people are of lower occupational ranks. Yeah, run away, my friend.

The way I see it, you can truly judge a person by looking at how they treat people with lower social status than themselves. If they talk in a bad manner or show rude gestures to waiters, housemaids, drivers, etc, they d not have good character. It simply means that they look up to people with social status and show the exact opposite to others. Do you really want people like that in your life? Didn’t think so.

3. If you have ever panicked when your significant other checks your phone (guilty!), you are already doing something wrong. Remember that cheating does not have to start from physical connection or adultery. When you delete phone conversations, erase call histories and keeps a password on your cell that your spouse has no idea of, chances are, you’re heading there. A little mystery is good in a relationship, but not up to the bar that you get fidgety every time he/she simply needs to check the time.

4. Learn decent grammar. Note that I implemented the word “decent” instead of “perfect”. Empowering your social speaking skills will help you boost your confidence. Learn to differentiate the difference between “its” and “it’s”, “whose” and “who’s” etc. No one expects you to memorize the whole Oxford dictionary, but improving your fine grammar will up your ante, I promise you. Especially today, when social medias allow you to put yourself out there, and whatever is written depicts you by its very core.

5. If you are a vegetarian, I applaud you. I salute you for being able to live on greens for life and I do admire your good intentions. But, if you judge me for eating my choice of food, all that “good karma” you think you have goes out to the drain. It is good to have beliefs, but if you shove your beliefs down my throat, my apologies, but that will take you nowhere close to inner peace. When you claim that people are “killers” for consuming food of their choice, you are being that judgmental person you thought the other person was. No one is shoving meat down your throat, so if you can’t stop claiming self-righteousness, please, just leave.

6. Let other people choose to do what they want with their money. Unless you’re a hired wealth manager, you need to stop deciding what other people can do with their income. I’ve read so many facebook commenters who express that they would rather give money to charity, or travel to their holy countries rather than purchasing a purse with multiple 0’s in price. What people do with their income is entirely up to them; whether they put it in a charity, invest it, go for a shopping spree. It’s their own hard work, why do we write their cashbooks for them?

7. If you are not already at the peak of your career, don’t worry; you’ll reach there after hard work, patience and time. People at the highest often start at the lowest. I know a hotel manager who used to scrub toilets at the very same hotel. What I rarely see are those people, despite being at the highest point of their career, revert for a couple of hours to do what they used to do as they climbed the ladder. A previous employer of mine once told me “don’t be afraid to step down and do what you used to. Chances are that, you’ll emerge even higher after that”, and I agree. Just because you are McDonald’s Senior Supervisor, don’t be afraid to fry some French fries when you’re understaffed. If you are a restaurant host, don’t feel belittled if you have to read the specials to people who are dining. It will not make you less of a person.

8. I’ve seen some people (more like bullies!) who go all out to make little kids cry, get uncomfortable and eventually gets the kid to avoid being within the radius of that rotten bully. And YET, when the bully acquires a new nephew/niece, they act like the best aunt/uncle in the world. I mean, how sad is that? You decide who gets to grow up with a mental scar? Remember that children absorb everything around them very quickly. If you teach them fear, they will never see courage in the face again. STOP being a bully. You wouldn’t want that for your kid, would you?


There are so much more, but it would turn into a whole saga. I hope a part 2 will come soon. Hope you enjoyed this, just about enough to make you sit and think through it.

Xx

“Just Like Old Times” – Is It Really?

Picture this. Scenario number 1. You are walking in a mall by yourself, meets an old friend from high school, start chatting continually, decide to have some coffee and have a really good time. You must have wondered “just like old times”?

Scenario number 2. You’re still in a mall (or wherever! It doesn’t matter) and meet an old crush. You start thinking of the “good old times” and feel like the years didn’t pass by at all. Familiar?

Anyway, you get the gist. I’ve lost count of how many hash tags I’ve read that says #justlikeoldtimes. Heck, I use it too! Today, in came a rushing thought to my mind? Are these really like old times? Do the moments we have today equivalent to the “good old times”?

Once you ponder (please do, so I don’t feel like the only weirdo overthinking this), we are absolutely NOTHING like the olden days. Think about it:

Some of us have new relationships. Some of us broke up with old flames, some of us got married to the person of our dreams, some of us had arranged marriages, some of us had children, some of us are recently single, some of us are happily dating or plowing their dating fields, some of us are mending our own heartbreaks, some of us are probably struggling with a recent family death.

Some of us have left studying, some of us are bored of our jobs, some of us want to study some more but are waiting for the right time, some of us are happily pursuing further education, some of us are looking for jobs, some of us are sick of being the bread-earner in the house, some of us are looking forward for job promotions and higher salaries, some of us are doing professionally and financially well and some may be on the flip side of the coin.

Some of us have lost oodles of weight. Some of us have better-looking hair. Some of us no longer have acne problem. Some of us have some kind of incurable disease. Some of us are struggling with eating disorders. Some of us are bulimic. Some of us have gotten some kind of cosmetic surgeries. Some of us have recently jumped into the health bandwagon. Some of us are still in love with junk food. Some of us sneak in chocolate in their gym bags.

Some of us have been bullied in school and yet learned the art of forgiveness. Some of us still carry old grudges and secretly hate them around us. Some of us sometimes still feel like society’s punching bag.

Give yourself a few minutes and acquire a snapshot of how you were in the “good old days”. Think of how we dressed, looked, talked, thought, behaved and so on. And then, bring yourself forward to the person you are today. Would you really rather be that person in the “good old days”? If you think you are a much better person today, spot on, because I’m sure you are. The person you are today is a far stretch from the gawky teenager you once were.

We have all emerged to be better, stronger, irrevocably sturdier person today. If anyone fails to understand that, build a fort around you and protect yourself with all that you have and comprehend that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Go ahead. Meet your old friends and have a nice, long chat over dinner. Picture yourselves years before today and be proud of the person you are today. Growing up is never easy but you climbed through. You are frikkin awesome!

Marrying "Early"-Often a Public Debacle, But Why?

If I had a penny for whenever people asked me why I married “early”, I’d probably be a billionaire by now. FYI, I am 25 and married at 24. For a lot of people, that age does seem to be a young age to get hitched. Not so much in my case, though. It did take me by surprise when the engagement was set, but by and by, I realized that if you’re not ready by 24-25, you’d never be ready anyway. Marriage isn’t something anyone can ever be completely prepped for. It’s something you dive it, and eventually enjoy!

Most of the conversation concerning young marriage is negative, and the few who do advocate for young marriage aren’t really laying out any romantic reasons. For those of us who married young, our relationships are up for public debate, whether we like it or not. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion about whether or not marrying young is a good idea, but at the end of the day, marriage isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. Everyone feels differently.
But regardless of where you stand on the “young marriage debate,” there are still advantages to marrying young. And a young, strong marriage is still something to be celebrated rather than written off as a failure waiting to happen.

Here is my side of the story, and some reasons as to why I love my “young” marriage ☺☺

1. You get to grow up together. In the first few months of your marriage, you’ll probably get to experience being irresponsible, such as, sleeping late after movie-nights, impromptu dinner dates and what not. Later on eventually, you’ll slowly get to realize your responsibilities, making a living for yourselves, starting the “family” talk, taking better control of your household and simply being an ideal spouse and a smarter version of yourself!

2. More flexibility. Young couples, mostly, are never too much in a hurry into being the perfect home-runners. People you share a home with will be kind enough to allow you some space, to adjust yourself in a totally new light. You get to make mistakes and find time to rectify yourself. Because we got married in our 20s, we were still figuring out how to "live like grown ups" — which wasn't only easier to do together, but more fun.

3. Celebrating milestones. Most couples’ milestone is their first child. When you marry young, you have more milestones to look forward too, such as, setting up your first business together, buying your very own piece of furniture, eventually buying a new car, counting down to graduate your master’s degree (personal experience!).

4. No wedding pressure. You know how it is when aunties and uncles to come your folks and ask them when are we getting hitched? Yeah, get married early and save yourself the awkward situations. A must-read book I recently read was Meg Ray’s TED talk "Why 30 is not the new 20". She describes the enormous pressure that comes when everyone around you seems to suddenly marry at once. She describes the story often sounding like, “Dating in my twenties was like musical chairs, everybody was running around and having fun. But then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up.” Marrying young has left that pressure off my plate completely, and even though I don’t think about it often, it is a huge relief.

5. No more “where is everybody?” moment for you. This may be a small point compared to the ones above, but there have been countless moments for everyone, where they end up alone, either in parties, dinners, weddings, funerals, etc, probably because their friends take forever to get ready. When you’re married, your ever-faithful companion is always by your side!

6. Let’s not forget the little things that mean the world; watching horror movies and having someone to cling to anytime, beautiful mornings when you talk about the day to come, counting month-saries, re-decorating your room together, dropping each other to work, random McDonald’s midnight home delivery, comparing bicep size in the gym (high-five, hun!) and so much more!

Young marriages get to run the whole course from young and stupid to old and wise. It’s a beautiful journey to make together, and one I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Skinny is Not Ideal - Unless You're Healthy

Ladies, we all been here here. There was always a point of time where you stood by your mirror, sucked your cheeks in and wondered why weren't you skinnier? We would always have some kind of fat-related complain such as "My cheeks are so chubby!" or "My tummy isn't getting flat" or "My hips are too wide" and eventually, we try all the diets in the world.

Over the years, we have seen people evolve. Those who were once chubby are now svelte. I often go up to them and ask for their primary motivation in their journey towards achieving their figures. However, their answers often startle me, because they revolve around "looking good". Very rarely do I hear people losing weight in order to stay fit/healthy/fight obesity. Is the society really going all out to stop eating, simply to look good? Has health really become a secondary factor? Is the word "fit" being replaced by "sexy"?

I can't blame anyone but the fashion industry. They have near-death-skinny models on the ramp, magazine covers and even make skinny mannequins to exhibit their definition of "looking good". They consider size 0 or 2 to be ideal and models who look absolutely gorgeous, fit and REAL are considered plus-sized. Let me start by giving you an example.

This breath-takingly gorgeous model, Robin Lawley (who has a lovely figure, in my opinion) is considered a plus-sized model. Ok, in what universe is she plus-sized? Just because a model is not a size 0 or 2, she is automatically labeled fat. Plus, it is totally demeaning. Would you call a chubby doctor a "plus-sized doctor"? Just because she has hips, she is labeled plus-sized? This is so gross.



Also, the usage of Photoshop on every single bit of skin on magazine covers. Who do these editors think they're kidding? Some of us are competent enough to see through the touch-ups but what about those with insecurity problems? Won't they look at the covers and look down upon themselves?



Please notice that they have photoshopped her cheeks contouring, her hips width, her freckles and spots, her fingers (uh, why???). She looks gorgeous in the original one!

Have to give solid credit to those who are introducing a new definition of beauty and realness.

Debenham, for example, introduced a whole new campaign with girls who look normal! Take a look below.



and another one (claps)



Girls, please remember. Let us not use Victoria's Secret models as a benchmark for gorgeous. They are paid to look like that. I simply cannot recall any other person, working as a non-model, who looks like them. In fact, lets start being real. I am not encouraging anyone to sit down and be a couch potato all day. Go to the gym, exercise, eat well. But not because you want to be skinny. Do it because you want to be healthy and fit. When you have reached that level of fitness, a wonderful body is sure to follow!

This is NOT bashing anyone who is naturally skinny. If you are so, and accompanied by good health, good for u! Again, this is not about looks. This is about health and how good looks will follow, once health is optimum.

Don't lose yourselves on your path towards looking good. Focus on being happy and healthy.

Hope this can be of help to everyone out there :):)