Chronicles of Being On Time

My first job interview was gruesome. It was a sunny (read: hot as the satan that inhabits hell) day in Jakarta. I woke up early enough, left home way too early and yet I arrived 10 minutes late. What can I say? My so-called expert taxi driver got lost and had the shortest temper I’ve ever seen. Needless to say I didn’t strike a very good first impression with the interviewer, not just because of tardiness. I carried that insecurity, flustered energy throughout the interview. The warm temperature had me sweating and its common to sweat when you are stressed anyway. I don’t know what got them into offering me the job, but I didn’t end up taking it (salary was miniscule and they’d get eaten up by my hour/daily commute anyway). Ever since, I don’t think I’ve ever been late anywhere.

Tardiness seems to be a way of life for most people. At least, most people I know. People are known to arrive real late ANYWHERE. But of course, there are two types of late comers.

First type is the people who TRY to be on time. Somehow, they make self-promises to do whatever they can to reach on time and yet fail to do so. Some people prefer to call it as sociopathic disorder but since I don’t know much about it, I’d rather not comment. These are the ones who end up getting highly stressed when running out of the door, already late. You can tell by their sweaty faces, flustered looks, jittery hands, nervous finger-tapping and so on. If you are amongst these people, you need to constantly make the effort to be on time. I assure you, you’ll get there ;)

The second type of people is the type who I want to kill. Those who deliberately come late and remain guiltless about it. Honestly, if they say this is part of a certain culture (ever heard of Sindhi timing?), then this is where those adapting this culture need to grow the hell up. I fail to understand what in the world makes it okay for people to make others wait for them. By doing that, they are simply showing their true characters; selfish, inconsiderate prudes who think time belongs to themselves. No matter how much we chide them for it, it only seems to pop in from an ear and leave from the other. Which is, to say the least, sad. If they fail to acknowledge it as a bad habit, then never will they be on the roads to recovery for their tardiness. And as wrong as this may sound, I end up criticizing people they grew up with (siblings, parents, etc). I think to myself, “Poor fella. His folks didn’t teach him the most basic of all manners in the world”. What is even more irritating if this person comes all decked up with make up and then apologizes because they ran out of time. Sure, you have enough time to put face powder to convert you from a Mediterranean to an Asian, but you couldn’t spare 2 minutes thinking about how you kept everyone waiting. I have a new word to add to your vocabulary. Its called priorities.

Timeliness speaks a lot about yourself. It simply tells people that by being on time, you are able to manage your own time, value other people’s time and energy and cares enough about the agenda to arrive well on time. It also speaks highly about how you’ve been raised, and what education you were fed with. By education, I don’t mean a fancy college degree but the way you’ve been taught about valuing time and people. If you’re never on time, well, you’re an idiot.

“But what if I had a flat tire? And what if my baby suddenly cries so loudly, he wakes up a hibernating polar bear? And what if the traffic goes beyond its usual craziness?”. Sure, we’ve all been there. There are just some instances we can’t control. But hey, the 21^st century brought us a technology developed by the wonderful Industrial Revolution. It’s called a cellphone. It can be used to inform other people with phones that a matter has come up that may prohibit you from coming on time. This device also lets other people contact you to know what in the world is keeping you away. All you have to do is click and say “hello”. It’s easy, my 3-year-old nephew can show you.

Personally, I do not like arriving late. I am one of those who prefer being earlier than everybody else, simply to either get a good seat, spend a lavish amount of time ogling the menu to choose my meal, avoid stress when traffic hits me up, avoid being annoyed when people call me a gazillion times asking where am I and so on. Again, this may be irksome to those people who always come late. Actually, latecomers should write a blog post, stating how early comers bug them. HA! Funny story, this was one of the ways I evaluated my husband, back when we just met each other. If he turned out to be one of those late people when picking up their girlfriends, he’d be a no-no. Fortunately for us both, he’d either be 5 minutes early or right on time.

If you find tardiness also annoying, start by reminding people around you. You can also do that with your children. Teach them to value of time and implement timeliness at home. If you are a latecomer yourself and want to change, you are already a step ahead then those losers who find it cool to walk in a room late, with eyes gazing upon them, evaluating their stupidity. I do several things to keep me bright and early everywhere I go, which are tips you can take. I make several alarms since I’m a deep sleeper (sorry, hubby), make checklists of my to-do to help remind me I need an early start, plan my day in advance and time them to know when I’ve gone overboard, organize where I keep my things to grab them quickly (keys, wallet, bags. Still terrible with my phone but at least that can be located with a call haha) and most importantly, I keep those who may wait for me informed. If I ever feel like I may be running late, I make sure to tell people in advance that I am expected shortly but a little later than planned. That way, you don’t keep people waiting for too much time and stay chilled while trying to get there as soon as you can. WIN WIN!

Help me make this hellhole a better place and teach others how to make full use of their expensive wristwatches (seriously, its Rolex on every other wrist, aren’t they used to tell time at all?)

Phew! I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest for the longest time. If you are reading this, thanks for staying all through my rants. Until next time! J

Funny Habits Sindhis Possess

As always, I start with a disclaimer. I am a full-on Sindhi. My last name(s) end with a –ani, I love papad and laugh heartily when my folks say “ edjhe kele ja bhare” (kids nowadays). Spending 27 years (and counting) in a Sindhi household has made me realise, we have so many weird habits. Bad habits? Or just plain funny? You decide.

Sindhis don’t exactly have a home country to go to. There is no longer a country called Sindh. It will always be a small province in Pakistan. But if you’re not a Sindhi, chances are that you can easily spot us all over the world, doing one or few of the following. Mind you, this is just for fun. No one needs to get offended. After all, all of us, including me, are guilty for at least one of the following habits!

1. If you receive food in a Tupperware that is yellow-stained, don’t worry. It’s nothing dreadful. That is where we keep our leftover dhal (lentils) and achar (pickles). Somehow, there is always dhal in a Sindhi fridge. Our homemakers make them a lot and store leftovers for what seem like months. Personally, I’m not exactly a dhal person so those yellow Tupperwares put me off. And the smell! Ooooohhhh the smell! Its not gross, but its not exactly flowers-on-grass-and-leaves-in-the-air summery kinda smell, you know what I mean? If I have to describe it, it smells a little like salty, dried leafy greens. I challenge you Sindhis, go ahead and ask your mom or grandma if there is some dhal in the fridge. If they say no, stakes are high they will whip some up right away.

2. There is no such thing as a light vacation. Tell someone you are travelling for the holidays and expect lots of parcels. One for their friend, another for their aunt, aunt’s daughter, aunt’s daughter’s friend, aunt’s daughter’s friend’s cousin and maybe even their dog. And the dog’s puppy. You get the gist. After all, we are nice people who like making others happy, so we shut up and bring them all if we have the weight. Lo and behold, all those people you passed on parcels to, returned the favour and probably passed along gifts for your mom, dad, brother, nephew, aunt, uncle, cousins, grandparents and it goes on and on and on and on. I don’t remember travelling ANYWHERE without carrying things for other people. It’s different when we choose to buy gifts for people (which we do happily) but when others make us bring their stuff? Totally acceptable if they do so with ethics (small sized, light-weighted items). But no, I will not bring 10 kgs of mithai (indian sweets) to feed your entire nation of family.

3. If not for others, people will ask us to carry things for themselves. If they hear you are travelling, they summon you to bring all kinds of things. But, without mentioning any name, a friend of mine recently brought a COFFEE TABLE abroad, as a request from her aunt who she’s staying over at while abroad. I mean, a coffee table? Again, this is socially acceptable when ethics accompany. But seriously, a coffee table?

4. While we’re still in the context of vacation, I have to say this. Somehow, I feel like we know EACH AND EVERY SINDHI FAMILY IN THAT TOWN. Which makes us need to visit each and every one of them. Can you ever go somewhere and see each and every nook and cranny of the city? Impossible, because there will lunches. And dinners. And coffee. And if we don’t go, we’ll never hear the end of it. “There are just 2 homes to visit” they say, and then add, “oh but how can we not go to the Mulanis? Oh and the Nanwanis? And the Vasnanis live just next door”. Sure.

5. Make sure you keep your stomach empty while going to people’s houses. Pump your stomach prior if you must. Because, you will be fed. I mean it, they will not let you go without eating an entire plate that can feed a whole third world country. If you don’t, they will assume you are on a diet and start exclaiming why we’ll get ill or they will even take it personally that their food isn’t great. “You want some aloo tikki?”, “what about some mithai?”, “okay at least try the pakoda”, “why aren’t you eating anything?”, “you can't leave without eating”, “okay take home some biryani”.

6. Don’t trust us when we say that we are leaving. Because we won't. Customarily, as hosts, you tend to drop us off at the doorstep. But then, the conversation will start over. New topics will unfold. New gossips will unravel. New names will pop up. Another country will be developed. A new Harry Potter movie will be made. Another religion will be founded. And that’s when we’ll finally go home.

7. Tell your folks of the yesteryear generation that you are seeing someone and the first question will be “is he/she sindhi?”. “Sure, he/she is a Sindhi. He/She is covered in racist tattoos, tells crude jokes, is a chronic drug user, considers profanity a language, smuggles children for a living, stole from my wallet last week, but that shouldn’t matter as long as I choose a Sindhi, yes?”.

By the way, my mom’s first question was “can he dance?” seeing that she is dance expert herself. Yikes. Moms.

8. Dine with a Sindhi on a Monday and prepare to see the world’s biggest eyes if you order a non-vegetarian meal. Sindhis have this tradition about being vegetarian on Mondays. They call it “God’s Day” because apparently, God is on vacation every other day? Hey, I don’t mind what you choose to eat. Let me do the same and we’re good. Oh, I do try to stick to my veggie days. Not because its God’s Day *insert eye roll here* but because a balanced lifestyle is good.

One uncle once called me “religion-less” because I forgot it was a Monday and I ordered a chicken sandwich. My dad heard the story and called HIM the religion-less one. Dad, you’re awesome. My granny's pretty cute too. I jokingly asked her I'd go to hell for eating meat on Monday and she said "paap mukhe de, tu bhale kha" which translates "Just pass me the sins, you go on and eat". HAHA. 

And that’s it! I’m pretty sure we awesome Sindhis can associate with the above and can even relate to doing one of the above.

It sounds like we are very odd people. But hey, which culture doesn’t have some kind of oddity in them? Needless to say, I’m proud of my culture, where I came from and the values instilled to me by my Sindhi families. I assure you, we are a bunch of really large-hearted people. We go out of our way to help one another. We don’t have to know you, but you’d only need to ask and we will be at your door. We get a little excited at parties, we great each other a little too loudly, our jewelry may blind you a little bit (you hear that, pretty aunties?), our wedding outfits get heavier by the year, our uncles drink a lot of Johnny Walker, but we’re a pretty amazing bunch of people. We love it when non-indians wear our traditional clothing. We share our yummy food with everyone. We sing Bollywood songs with so much happiness and are happy to tell you their meaning (okay technically, Bollywood is Hindi but po-tay-to po-tah-to).

 I’m Sindhi and proud, are you?