Last month, on March 9th
2015, we lost a man with a golden heart, my grandfather. All the words in the
world will not do justice to the kind of man he was, and neither will this blog
be able to do so. This was written as a tribute, to truly show how much he
meant to our family.
If you don’t believe in heroes, refer to
your grandfather. They’re just like fathers, but they impose no rules around
the house :) The quality that made mine great is his ability to love immensely
and the inspiration he was to those around him.
Sadly, I knew nothing much of his
childhood. Daddy lost his voice due to stroke when I was very young so ever
since, our conversations were limited to his hands signage and some words that
he could manage. There were times when
he grew frustrated as we weren’t able to understand what he tried to say, but
my brother, who I call Boy (out of habit over the years) and I got much better
over the years, we were practically experts ;)
Over the time span we spent together, how
does one recollect memories and pour it into a post? An impossible task to
truly portray the value of the relationship we shared with him but if I had to
pick, the following are few of our most treasured times, all of which never
fail to bring a smile to our faces.
Daddy was very fond of sweets. Anything
sweet, may they be candies, chocolates, mithai (indian sweets) but his favorite
was Populaire’s strawberry ice cream. He would ask either one of us to buy
exactly that brand and he’d be in splits of excitement after his meals knowing
that a treat is on its way. He had diabetes, so my grandma, who we fondly call
Mummy, would keep an eye for his tidbits. When Mummy stopped him from having
them, he would literally, creep out of his bed in the middle of their afternoon
nap and enjoy a whole cup to himself. Whoever caught him never had the heart to
stop him after seeing his big grin whilst eating :)
Daddy’s whole family came from India and he
has a lot of relatives in Jaipur. The last time he visited them was a long time
ago so at random days, he would insist on taking his passport from our drawer,
so he can book his tickets and go alone. When we tried making sense of it, he
would get really upset and keep asking for his passport! There were moments
when we found this sad, but also those days when we would all be thoroughly
tickled by his precious innocence.
There were times when he randomly checked
his empty pockets and then complain for not having any money. Boy once gave him a 50.000 note, which Daddy folded into a very tiny square and eventually lost
the note. Oh Daddy :):)
He was always a strong-headed person. He
knew he was too weak to make bathroom trips in the middle of the night without
his nurse and yet did it continuously. He fell several times during the process
and we chided him so much about it but he would just laugh it out.
He was also fond of drinking beer and
whiskey. Those very rare moments that he got to enjoy them, he used to have the
most peaceful sleep! The usual 4-5 routine bathroom trips were completely out
of the picture.
Mummy is fond of talking; with her friends,
with us, on the phone, with a passerby on the road, anyone! When Mummy got a
little excited, Daddy would tap her on the shoulder and bring his index fingers
to his lips indicating that she should chill. The sight of this is always a
riot!
Once, Daddy asked papa for a pair of
sneakers. At the end, he was happy when Boy lent him his pair. The picture
below is worth more than just a mere thousand words!
He once watched Friends with Boy, the part
when Ross and Joey climbed down the fire escape, the “face to face” scene and
he also couldn’t stop laughing along with Boy.
We had a family photoshoot in EcoPark Ancol
last couple of years, where all of us had different Polo shirts. Daddy must
have had the time of his life there! His face truly glowed of happiness from
being outdoor even though Mummy couldn’t wait to get back home. I remember the
exact moment when he sat by the golf cart and insisted that we go on more
rounds so he could enjoy the ride further.
When he was younger, he would take the
public bus and head to the city center all by himself just to enjoy his own
me-time. He used to come back with firecrackers for Diwali :):)
We also took him to Ancol, although rather
rarely, to fulfill his love for the outdoors (and our love for siomay
abang-abang).
He used to absolutely adore Vicky, my
husband. After we got hitched, I visited home as much as I could but Daddy
would give me a brief look and then immediately ask for Vicky.
His first love will always be Indian food
but he enjoys the occasional slice of pizza. We would be so happy when he asks for pizza, because obviously, no one will refuse and we wont hear those “stop
eating junk food” conversations from Papa (love you paaaaaa). It used to take
him 15 minutes to finish a slice of pizza as they need to be cut into really tiny
pieces for him to fork each one individually.
He had a particular spot in the house where
he would sit, right by the entrance, so his happy face used to be the first
sight upon entering the house. Seeing the empty seat is a bitter part of our
day. But the way he left us forever was exactly how we would want him to leave.
He was 85 years old and by God’s grace, Daddy never spent a single day in the
hospital. His last day had him taken to the hospital, for which he was there
just for a few hours before he finally departed. He was always one of the
strongest men I knew. Various disorders would come to him, blood pressure,
sugar levels and more and he would literally kick them out of his system. He
did not say goodbye to anyone. He just left. And that was beautiful. He left
without any kind of sufferance, no kind of pain and that was it.
I am grateful to have spent most of my days
with him. I grew up right in front of him and the times I spent at home
revolved around being with Mummy and him. There are people who never appreciated
what they had until they lost it, but in this case, I am glad, I am not one of
them. I have no regrets whatsoever as I have done whatever I possibly could for
him. Our bond was strong, I loved him tremendously and I always will. The
person I shared happy memories with is now a memory, a beautiful memory to
cherish forever. Someone we love is now in heaven, which is why we can say we have
a bit of heaven in our home.
Those we hold closest never really leave
us. They live in the kindness they’ve shared and the love they’ve brought to
our lives.
Good night, Daddy. Sleep well and we shall
reunite one day.
