This is a rather spicy topic I often
discuss with a couple of my closest buddies, especially my female friends and
cousins who work as hard as any other males. Recently, we noticed a growing
number of working women, either self-employed entrepreneurs, freelancers or corporate employees. This is something I value tremendously. The fact that
women are less dependent on their husbands to be the sole bread-earners at home
and are trying to make a place for themselves in the working industry. In
short, the trophy wives are dying out.
(By the way, you do know why they are
called trophy wives, right? A trophy shows accomplishment and is a lovely sight to
see, but it doesn’t have much of a function. The same works for a trophy wife).
These working women (myself included)
obviously have much in consideration when deciding to make a career for
themselves; self-accomplishment, satisfy personal interest, as a means to earn
income, make the best use of time in hand, place their talents meaningfully and
many more. Lo and behold! Suddenly, we have a herd of over-achieving women who
have equal places with the men in the industry. It is no longer men’s world; we
have carved a niche for ourselves and are finally placed as equals in the
workplace. But that’s when the silver lining takes a halt.
I have encountered many situations, as have
many other women I know, where people (actually, often men) underestimate the
ability of women in the workplace. Many of them (termed MCPs – Male Chauvinist
Pigs) still firmly believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen for cooking
or in the nursery to take care of the baby. While being a homemaker and a
mother is absolutely wonderful, there is nothing wrong with a woman trying to
make a career for herself. I think we are a far cry from the times when women
received less education and are meant to stay home. Today, we receive equal
education and are therefore equally able to opt to make a living for ourselves.
Those MCPs I was referring to earlier find
various methods to underestimate a working woman in the dopiest way possible.
If a woman is working in the office in a medium position, she is assumed to
have less work and is assumed to report to a male supervisor. If she has a high
position, she is assumed to have competent subordinates who do her work for
her. If she is self-employed, she is assumed to earn little money or to fulfill
her “little hobby”. If she works from home, she is assumed to be in pajamas all
day long while lazing around. There is simply no dearth of ways to demean us.
I take this opportunity to give you some
examples.
A friend of mine is a successful
journalist. She works long hours with her editor and has a solid job in the
city’s leading magazine. Men around her assume that all she does is sit on the
computer, Facebooking all day whilst copy-pasting references for her
hard-written articles.
A cousin of mine is a self-employed,
works-from-home baker. She faces terrible comments from people (okay, mostly
men) who think that she mixes “a bunch of ingredients” into the oven and then
chill while waiting for them to cool and then “sprinkle some stuff” on them.
Oh, the worst is “so…. That’s it? You just…bake”. Her face when she hears these
comments is priceless!
And me? I am back to school (vying for that
long-dreamed Masters degree), learning to be a homemaker and running a fitness
centre with my husband. And the comments I get are, “so after school, you chill
all day right? Leave the husband to take care of the business! You just learn
to cook!”
Over time, I guess everyone around me just
learned to get over it, by simply trying to erase these people out of their
lives. But easier said than done, right?
I wonder, how is it that these people are
still living under the bubble? When did it become socially acceptable to
undermine each other’s body of work? And whatever happened to feminism?
At the end of the day, stepping into one’s
shoes is difficult, we can never really judge a person until we take their place
and experience a day in their lives. However, if you’re still THAT person who
simply assume women’s places for them, I kindly suggest you wake up, pop the
bubble and present yourself to the 21st century, where women with
power are welcomed with open arms. We are women, some of us are lawyers,
teachers, chefs, drivers, businesswomen, managers and so on. Some of us are
mothers and homemakers. Either which way, our jobs aren’t easy. So stop
assuming. Let’s co-exist.
Have you ever encountered a sticky
situation like described above? Would love to hear your side of the story.
Stay strong, girls.
