10 Things We Need to Learn to Do Ourselves

As an Indian, we are taught to value our culture of living with our parents until we get married and eventually move in with our husband and his parents. Sons are taught to remain to live with his folks and add on to the happiness by bringing his wife to the house, and take care of his parents when they grow old. This is a value I treasure a lot and yes, I live with my in-laws happily and willingly.

This isn’t exactly why I wrote this blog article. What I want to discuss is the fact that we are very rarely alone as we are always accompanied by at least someone on a daily basis, seeing that we live with a lot of people at home, as opposed to a large proportion of the Western community who tend to move out when they reach a fruitful age of 18, on average. Therefore, when we reach a point of time when we are left alone, we tend to disregard the infinite possibilities of what to do with the time.

I have compiled a list of things we absolutely must learn to do ALONE in our lives, and also try to do them at least once if they sound rather uncomfortable. I must admit, I haven’t done everything yet, but have received recommendations from those who have.

1.     Dine
How often are our Saturday nights filled with friends, family and frenzy? It takes solid security to get decked up, walk in a fancy restaurant and have a meal all by yourself. People may stare and wonder if we have been stood up, but who cares? I find it a liberating experience to have no one to share good food with (tee-hee) and devour every bite and enjoy our own thoughts. I am yet to do this in a fancy restaurant, but I have had fast food in a crowded mall on a Saturday for lunch. I am guessing that counts?

2.     Hit the cinema
Now this may be a bit of a challenge. Can we really sit through a 2-hour movie and not have anybody known beside you? YES YES YES! You probably want to avoid Saturday nights if you’re a bit insecure but otherwise, go for it. Admittedly, my last “alone movie time” was 4 years ago when I had a solid 5-hours break between class at campus and a student committee meeting and have yet to do it again, My husband, Vicky does this all the time, seeing that he loves the movies and does not force me into watching genres I hate.

3.     Cook for yourself
Imagine a scenario where you come back after a long day at work and find nobody at home to have dinner with. An efficient way to feed yourself would probably call for fast food home delivery meal, as we often think “why go through so much kitchen trouble for just me?” where in fact, cooking for yourself can be rather satisfying. I am not talking about instant noodles and easy mac-n-cheese, but solid food with pretty plating you would normally serve other people. I usually go for grilled chicken or home-made pizza with multiple toppings and some garlic bread and coleslaw. I did this a couple of times and enjoy the food with a good movie. Best time ever!

4.     Drive to a whole new place
If you’re an adventurer and are blessed with a car and the ability to drive, hit the roads and visit a place you don’t normally go by yourself as you’re unsure of how to get there. I promise you, this is incredibly emancipating when you finally succeed. Points to note though: go during daytime when there are people to ask road help from, make sure you have your tank filled up, drive safe and choose a timing when traffic will not bother you much. My personal experience: my mom-in-law and I would take turns in going to the market to shop for groceries for home and Perigon Fitness and Cafe, run by Vick and I. I used to need the driver to take me there but once I gathered the courage to head there by myself, I have been unstoppable :p

5.     Use a public transport to get home
I’ll get straight to the point. I was in Pondok Indah Mall, a long way from my home in Sunter, totally alone after exchanging a bag I bought. I was already on the taxi stand when I realized I forgot to hit the ATM and chose to use the TransJakarta bus to get home. Multiple bus exchanges and a extra-short cab ride later, I was home. It took me a long time but I felt liberated by the fact that I managed in inconvenient situations. Point to note again: daytime is recommended and opt for a reliable public transport service.

6.     Workout
Gym buddies are buddies for life, aren’t they? Admit it, you have skipped so many gym sessions because your gym buddy is busy. I myself often rely on others to hit the gym. But when you gather the will power to step it on, gymming alone can be fun, provided you have good music on.

7.     Enjoy a glass of wine or champagne at home
Drinking is often socially acceptable in large groups or dinners with friends. But, nobody says we can’t enjoy a glass of our personal favorite at home when we’re alone. However, we must consider our personal alcohol consumption capability. If we can only handle a smidgen, gulping the entire bottle may leave a hot mess for your home-mates when they find you asleep on the floor. Not exactly a pretty picture.

8.     Enjoy an entire slice of cake
Before you start judging, I said slice, not the entire cake, although the idea is ravishing. In an era where people are increasingly health-conscious, how often do we finish an entire slice of cake? Although you begin by intending to wipe your plate clean, people around us will start spooning around “for a bite” and you’re left with half. Take the opportunity and be a little daredevil: finish the cake! When you feel a little hefty post the conquer, refer to no.6 ;)

9.     Go shopping
I don’t know how most guys do their shopping, but we girls ask most of our girlfriends before buying an outfit. Do yourself the honor this time and hit the mall alone. Rely on your personal choice and avoid awkward budget confrontations. After all, you’re wearing what you’re buying. Take control of what you like for yourself.

10. Attend a party/wedding invitation alone
Can’t write much about this, as I am yet to check this off my list. It may seem a little intimidating to enter a huge ballroom full of people and crossing your fingers to find someone you know, but this is one challenge I think I will take on sometime.

Do you have anything you like to do when you’re alone? I’d love to hear about it! Hope this post inspires. xx

Underage Drinking-Does if Effectively Introduce Alcohol?

Before proceeding to read the contents of this article, I kindly request everybody to keep an open mind as the article contains scientific and opinioned excerpts on alcoholism and underage drinking, which is not exactly black and white areas; they are differently seen upon by different people; some approve while others may not.

We live at a time and age where our parents lean towards friend figures as opposed to the pressure of ethical behavior. Our parents are more up-to-date in terms of fashion, music, movies and everything else in general. We are able to watch an intimate scene in a movie with our folks and not cringe as much as we did before. We can easily pull off wearing a skirt somewhat shorter than we were allowed to wear before, simply because our parents are quickly learning and adapting to the new age, and I must say, we don’t give them enough credit. Parents everywhere, you are awesome!

One thing that I’ve noticed children do with their parents now is alcohol consumption.  Up to a certain point, I applaud these parents who keep an open mind and share these vivid experiences with their kids. However, the age of alcohol introduction is somewhat disturbing. The legal drinking age in most states is 17 years old, and a lot of children below that age are already introduced to alcohol (they may be introduced by the community outside their homes, but this blog specifically discusses home-based alcohol consumption).

Yes, some scientific reasoning have found that introducing alcohol at an early age discloses several advantages such as being more connected to your children, encompassing confidence in your child (they sense the trust infiltrated by parents in them) and a way of harm-minimisation (a term used to describe letting children drink small amounts of alcohol under supervision before they let loose elsewhere).

However, many studies have been conducted over the past few years, which will be enclosed in the following paragraphs:

International data suggests introducing alcohol to teenagers isn’t a way to protect them. Indicating that the earlier a child is introduced to alcohol, the more likely they are to develop problems with alcohol later in life (National Center on Addition and Substance Abuse, 2002).

Scientists currently are examining just how alcohol affects the developing brain, but it’s a difficult task. Subtle changes in the brain may be difficult to detect but still have a significant impact on long-term thinking and memory skills. Add to this the fact that adolescent brains are still maturing, and the study of alcohol’s effects becomes even more complex.

Elevated liver enzymes, indicating some degree of liver damage, have been found in some adolescents who drink alcohol. Young drinkers who are overweight or obese showed elevated liver enzymes even with only moderate levels of drinking.

In both males and females, puberty is a period associated with marked hormonal changes, including increases in the sex hormones, estrogen and testosterone. These hormones, in turn, increase production of other hormones and growth factors, which are vital for normal organ development. Drinking alcohol during this period of rapid growth and development (prior to or during puberty) may upset the critical hormonal balance necessary for normal development of organs, muscles, and bones. Studies in animals also show that consuming alcohol during puberty adversely affects the maturation of the reproductive system.

Obviously, this is not a petition to stop alcohol. This is a mere reminder that anything taken in excess will be of harm to the adolescent body. Can we stop growing children from drinking alcohol? Absolutely not, but we can prevent them from binge-drinking.

There are much better ways to introduce alcohol to your children other than making them take sips regularly;

▪   choose a time when you are both relaxed rather than lecturing them when they aren’t in the right mood

▪   tailor the content and language to your own child and ask questions to make sure that they understand what you are saying

▪   explain the specific harms of alcohol use while their brain is still developing

▪   cover themes such as the positive and negative aspects of alcohol use

▪   encourage them to talk about their own perceptions and assumptions and correct any misconceptions

▪   communicate your expectations about their alcohol consumption

Trust me enough to know that when the time is right, your kid is probably going to know more about alcohol from their social surroundings ;)

Until them, hope this helps xx