If you are someone who absolutely hates reading self-help books, welcome to my world. I used to find it extraneous to read about how other people think I should live my life. Over the years, the more I avoided reading them, the more I encountered them whilst growing up (FYI, I think I have a lot of growing up left so I’m not preaching here yo).
Most of the “life tips” we’ve read out there give rather general advice such as; drink lots of water, smile often, help strangers, do more charity, pick up and thrive on a hobby and what not. We rarely hear practical counsel, which is truly what we need in a whirlwind world as today. So to speak, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve experimented with getting to know my surroundings better, being more adaptive, sensitive and responsive to the happenings around me and compiled a list of “life tips” that I think and hope may help you. Of course, no one can truly make a judgment call if the following are right or wrong. They are compatible to me but not necessarily to you. If they are, and they help, even if it is just for one person, I consider myself privileged.
1. Sometimes, we tend to take our spouses for granted because “they understand us more than others”. You may end up pleasing your parents, in-laws, children and everyone else first before your spouse. Recently, a brilliant person stated that your spouse would be the only one by your side when everyone else goes away. Your parents will not be with you forever, your children will grow up and find their comfort zone somewhere, friends come and go, relatives have other relatives to attend to. But your significant other has nowhere else to go but stick by you through good and through trying times. Make them as your number one priority. When you’re both old and wrinkly, you will only have each other to create your own happiness in your own little world.
2. I’m sure you have encountered a time when you are in a restaurant with someone, and they act all sweet, adorable and charming and you pat yourself on the back for a great find but yet, when the waiter comes, they treat him like a 16th century slave by speaking rudely and belittling them. Or an occurrence similar as such when people who seem to have impeccable manners speak to others in a derogatory manner, especially when those people are of lower occupational ranks. Yeah, run away, my friend.
The way I see it, you can truly judge a person by looking at how they treat people with lower social status than themselves. If they talk in a bad manner or show rude gestures to waiters, housemaids, drivers, etc, they d not have good character. It simply means that they look up to people with social status and show the exact opposite to others. Do you really want people like that in your life? Didn’t think so.
3. If you have ever panicked when your significant other checks your phone (guilty!), you are already doing something wrong. Remember that cheating does not have to start from physical connection or adultery. When you delete phone conversations, erase call histories and keeps a password on your cell that your spouse has no idea of, chances are, you’re heading there. A little mystery is good in a relationship, but not up to the bar that you get fidgety every time he/she simply needs to check the time.
4. Learn decent grammar. Note that I implemented the word “decent” instead of “perfect”. Empowering your social speaking skills will help you boost your confidence. Learn to differentiate the difference between “its” and “it’s”, “whose” and “who’s” etc. No one expects you to memorize the whole Oxford dictionary, but improving your fine grammar will up your ante, I promise you. Especially today, when social medias allow you to put yourself out there, and whatever is written depicts you by its very core.
5. If you are a vegetarian, I applaud you. I salute you for being able to live on greens for life and I do admire your good intentions. But, if you judge me for eating my choice of food, all that “good karma” you think you have goes out to the drain. It is good to have beliefs, but if you shove your beliefs down my throat, my apologies, but that will take you nowhere close to inner peace. When you claim that people are “killers” for consuming food of their choice, you are being that judgmental person you thought the other person was. No one is shoving meat down your throat, so if you can’t stop claiming self-righteousness, please, just leave.
6. Let other people choose to do what they want with their money. Unless you’re a hired wealth manager, you need to stop deciding what other people can do with their income. I’ve read so many facebook commenters who express that they would rather give money to charity, or travel to their holy countries rather than purchasing a purse with multiple 0’s in price. What people do with their income is entirely up to them; whether they put it in a charity, invest it, go for a shopping spree. It’s their own hard work, why do we write their cashbooks for them?
7. If you are not already at the peak of your career, don’t worry; you’ll reach there after hard work, patience and time. People at the highest often start at the lowest. I know a hotel manager who used to scrub toilets at the very same hotel. What I rarely see are those people, despite being at the highest point of their career, revert for a couple of hours to do what they used to do as they climbed the ladder. A previous employer of mine once told me “don’t be afraid to step down and do what you used to. Chances are that, you’ll emerge even higher after that”, and I agree. Just because you are McDonald’s Senior Supervisor, don’t be afraid to fry some French fries when you’re understaffed. If you are a restaurant host, don’t feel belittled if you have to read the specials to people who are dining. It will not make you less of a person.
8. I’ve seen some people (more like bullies!) who go all out to make little kids cry, get uncomfortable and eventually gets the kid to avoid being within the radius of that rotten bully. And YET, when the bully acquires a new nephew/niece, they act like the best aunt/uncle in the world. I mean, how sad is that? You decide who gets to grow up with a mental scar? Remember that children absorb everything around them very quickly. If you teach them fear, they will never see courage in the face again. STOP being a bully. You wouldn’t want that for your kid, would you?
There are so much more, but it would turn into a whole saga. I hope a part 2 will come soon. Hope you enjoyed this, just about enough to make you sit and think through it.
Xx
