Random Thoughts for My Fellow Ladies (more like tips, but you decide)

You may notice for every other blog of mine, I tend to give a disclaimer of some sort. Please know that it is not meant to justify myself as a person but more of a “warning” before you proceed with the reading to avoid misconceptions of any kind. So, we’re good, yeah? Great.

On a completely random note, I compiled a few of these tips, or suggestions, more like, for you to ponder on. They are completely not inter-connected and may come across as abrupt, weird or irrelevant. Anyway, you may agree with some and some may even make you smile J OH AND MEN, I MUST WARN YOU THEY ARE RATHER GIRLY!

· Sweetheart, leggings are transparent, even when they’re black. You cannot wear them with a crop top or a short tee. Especially with your typical Victoria’s Secret laces. If you don’t believe me, wear them and click a picture with flash mode. You’re welcome.

· I see people drinking wine and looking fabulous as hell. Am I the only one who cannot seem to understand wine? I find them absolutely bitter no matter the color. Or maybe its just me who’s yet to experiment with more wines.  If you’re anything like me, please don’t pretend to like wine just to look classy.

· I snooze my alarm at least 3 times. I have terrible will power to take up in the wee hours of the morning, no matter what the occasion is, because I cannot remember what I have planned for the morning fresh after I awake! I found an interesting solution. Keep a stack of post-it next to your alarm. Before sleeping, write the day’s plan and keep it next your phone/alarm clock. This way, it’s the first thing you’re reminded of every morning, and you get too nervous to continue sleeping in fear of the slumber.  

· Everybody has at least one pair of weird pajamas in their closet. If you don’t, you need one. In your home-alone days, put them on and feel like a kid again. Combined with ice cream and your favorite movie, you’re set. Mine used to be Elmo but it got too big for me (thank you, Perigon!) so I have one in polkadots now :p, by the way, Farah Khan the choreographer has one in dolphins.

· Don’t we love those restaurants that give you complementary bread platter while you wait for your order? Sometimes, I look forward to those yummy French breads more than my actual meal! I end up asking for more, especially when in large groups. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for more!

· Quotes like “travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer” apply when you visit a city for its heritage, culture, cuisine, people etc. if you party every night and spend half the afternoon in your hotel room with a hangover, I’m not sure how that makes you “richer”.

· You have a Facebook account that goes with your Gmail account, a Twitter account that goes with your Yahoo account, a Path account that goes with your Hotmail account and OMG so many passwords! Simple; type a list of passwords, print and hide them in your personal drawer. That way, when you forget one, it’s easy to retrieve the info. Why not save all accounts with the same password, you may ask? For one, it increases the risk of hacking. Secondly, some accounts require uppercases only, some lowercases only, some with at least a number and so on. It is almost impossible to pick a same password for all.

· There are some things you just need to literally keep a track of for example, your monthly cycles (I warned you, boys), when do your contact lenses expire and more. Print a table and stick them on the inner side of your closet to help you track these things. They often don’t cross our minds every other day and may lead to dire consequences.

· When you shop for luggage bags, it’s common to go for black and brown to suit whoever uses the luggage bag (can’t imagine my dad with a pink luggage bag on his China trips). It is, however, feasible to buy an odd color to be able to spot it from far away. Travelling for hours (sometimes days) keeps us extremely weary and airport formalities are often tiring enough. Not needing to squint at every black bag may actually lighten the burden.

· One must-have in your closet: a crisp white shirt. It’s so multi-functional! Combined with jeans and a brown belt, it looks effortlessly chic. Wear them with a pencil skirt and you’re good to go for a job interview. Tie them over a summer dress for a barbeque/outdoor party.

And….. I think I’m done! Let me know your thoughts!

Tips Your Trainer Probably Never Told You

Ladies, when asked as to what your current body goal is, we probably have the same answer; which is to lose weight and remain trim and slim. Believe me, I feel you. I have struggled with weight all my life. It’s a very sticky situation you and I are in; we love to eat and yet, we want to look like a million bucks.

There are hundreds of different diets we easily find online; the raw food diet, the carb-free diet, 7-days soup diet and I came across a completely freaky one, the cotton ball diet! This one involves dipping balls of cotton in orange juice and consuming them. It exists, believe me. Stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Is cotton even food?

As most of you probably already know, I co-run a fitness center with my husband and there is obviously a lot of pressure in keeping fit. As it so happens, I first befriended a gym when I was 13 years old, which is a really long time ago, so I am pretty much familiar with fitness techniques and methods. However, there are many things your personal trainer probably isn’t telling you, which I compiled into a single list. Keep in mind, I am not a fitness guru, but the following are tried and true. I learned it the hard way, but you don’t have to. 

1. I have heard so many people say “I am slim by nature, so luckily I don’t need the gym”, which is very disturbing. Yes, you probably don’t need a gym, but sweetie, you need the exercise. There is absolutely NOBODY in the world who does not need to exercise. Age is not even a deal-breaker when it comes to keeping fit. Always remember that exercising is not only used to lose weight, but offers hundreds of other non-aesthetic reasons such as keeping your heart’s health, your fat percentage balanced and ensuring that your muscle tissues are intact. And don’t fear the word “muscle”. Men have them, women have them, babies have them! They are not always the super-huge ones we see on body-builders and yes, they need to be trained.

      2. A lot of people skip the idea of keeping fit via the traditional method as in sweating, and straightaway jump under the knife to get some fat-removal (liposuction) procedures done. The benefits of liposuction are something I can’t help enlighten you about, as I don’t know much about them. However, I know people who have gone through this; they cause long-term problems for some people. During this procedure, you lose fat the quick way, which means losing a large proportion of energy. This is why the procedure condemns you into a bed rest for a long period of time. As a result, the fat you lose WILL eventually come back to you, if you don’t balance out the procedure with muscle-training afterwards. And remember, you may not necessarily be able to exercise right away; the stitches may keep you on bed rest for quite a while.

      3. Quick body check! If you feel like you have been eating right, training hard but yet have that pinch-able lower tummy, that’s probably a result of sugar and alcohol. No amount of food you give up can make up for binging on alcohol. I never liked alcohol to begin with, but I enjoy sweet drinks like hell. Like, literally, I need a coke right now. I used to eat less food to enjoy a glass of coke. Eventually, I realized that was ridiculous.

Unfortunately, alcoholic beverages (which contains mad sugar) have massive effect on your body. To quote my husband who is more of the expert in this field, if your target is to lose weight, more than food, it’s the alcohol and sweet drinks that you need to give up.

      4. Be careful with your cardio. Running, walking, cycling, jumping are all cardios. While they may keep you happy on the weighing scale, they may not do you good if you don’t balance it out with some weight-training. I once had a trainer who kept me on the machines for a straight hour WITHOUT any strength training. When I pinch my arms and thighs now, I regret every minute on those machines. Cardio doesn’t contribute much in training your muscles, in fact if used wrongly, they may deteriorate your lean muscle tissues. They support your fitness goals, but they are not your primary fitness techniques. They must be incorporated in your daily routines, but they should not take up your entire workout patterns.

      5. As you enter a gym, your first step is probably checking the weighing scale and fixing a “thin-fat” judgment based on those numbers. I say, wrong. Get a proper weighing scale that can identify your complete body vitals such as your tummy fat level (visceral fat), fat percentage, how many calories we burn in a day (BMR), Body Mass Index and others. Consult a nutritionist or certified trainer to learn about these vitals and exercise according to your requirements. Also, don’t use your mirror as your judge. As human beings, it is most natural to stand in front of the mirror and identify our major body flaws. However, what you see is not always what you are. Which is why, you need to learn what’s inside your body as opposed to what it actually appears to be.

If you wish to learn more, our doors are always open. Remaining healthy can be tough and we often need a support group. I may not be able to help your every enquiry, as I am still a learner, but I am blessed to have a fantastic team of personal trainers and nutritionists who are always open to discussion about the human body.

Hope this helps! Wish you all the very best for the journey of attaining optimal health, as I continue to attain mine. 

10 Things We Need to Learn to Do Ourselves

As an Indian, we are taught to value our culture of living with our parents until we get married and eventually move in with our husband and his parents. Sons are taught to remain to live with his folks and add on to the happiness by bringing his wife to the house, and take care of his parents when they grow old. This is a value I treasure a lot and yes, I live with my in-laws happily and willingly.

This isn’t exactly why I wrote this blog article. What I want to discuss is the fact that we are very rarely alone as we are always accompanied by at least someone on a daily basis, seeing that we live with a lot of people at home, as opposed to a large proportion of the Western community who tend to move out when they reach a fruitful age of 18, on average. Therefore, when we reach a point of time when we are left alone, we tend to disregard the infinite possibilities of what to do with the time.

I have compiled a list of things we absolutely must learn to do ALONE in our lives, and also try to do them at least once if they sound rather uncomfortable. I must admit, I haven’t done everything yet, but have received recommendations from those who have.

1.     Dine
How often are our Saturday nights filled with friends, family and frenzy? It takes solid security to get decked up, walk in a fancy restaurant and have a meal all by yourself. People may stare and wonder if we have been stood up, but who cares? I find it a liberating experience to have no one to share good food with (tee-hee) and devour every bite and enjoy our own thoughts. I am yet to do this in a fancy restaurant, but I have had fast food in a crowded mall on a Saturday for lunch. I am guessing that counts?

2.     Hit the cinema
Now this may be a bit of a challenge. Can we really sit through a 2-hour movie and not have anybody known beside you? YES YES YES! You probably want to avoid Saturday nights if you’re a bit insecure but otherwise, go for it. Admittedly, my last “alone movie time” was 4 years ago when I had a solid 5-hours break between class at campus and a student committee meeting and have yet to do it again, My husband, Vicky does this all the time, seeing that he loves the movies and does not force me into watching genres I hate.

3.     Cook for yourself
Imagine a scenario where you come back after a long day at work and find nobody at home to have dinner with. An efficient way to feed yourself would probably call for fast food home delivery meal, as we often think “why go through so much kitchen trouble for just me?” where in fact, cooking for yourself can be rather satisfying. I am not talking about instant noodles and easy mac-n-cheese, but solid food with pretty plating you would normally serve other people. I usually go for grilled chicken or home-made pizza with multiple toppings and some garlic bread and coleslaw. I did this a couple of times and enjoy the food with a good movie. Best time ever!

4.     Drive to a whole new place
If you’re an adventurer and are blessed with a car and the ability to drive, hit the roads and visit a place you don’t normally go by yourself as you’re unsure of how to get there. I promise you, this is incredibly emancipating when you finally succeed. Points to note though: go during daytime when there are people to ask road help from, make sure you have your tank filled up, drive safe and choose a timing when traffic will not bother you much. My personal experience: my mom-in-law and I would take turns in going to the market to shop for groceries for home and Perigon Fitness and Cafe, run by Vick and I. I used to need the driver to take me there but once I gathered the courage to head there by myself, I have been unstoppable :p

5.     Use a public transport to get home
I’ll get straight to the point. I was in Pondok Indah Mall, a long way from my home in Sunter, totally alone after exchanging a bag I bought. I was already on the taxi stand when I realized I forgot to hit the ATM and chose to use the TransJakarta bus to get home. Multiple bus exchanges and a extra-short cab ride later, I was home. It took me a long time but I felt liberated by the fact that I managed in inconvenient situations. Point to note again: daytime is recommended and opt for a reliable public transport service.

6.     Workout
Gym buddies are buddies for life, aren’t they? Admit it, you have skipped so many gym sessions because your gym buddy is busy. I myself often rely on others to hit the gym. But when you gather the will power to step it on, gymming alone can be fun, provided you have good music on.

7.     Enjoy a glass of wine or champagne at home
Drinking is often socially acceptable in large groups or dinners with friends. But, nobody says we can’t enjoy a glass of our personal favorite at home when we’re alone. However, we must consider our personal alcohol consumption capability. If we can only handle a smidgen, gulping the entire bottle may leave a hot mess for your home-mates when they find you asleep on the floor. Not exactly a pretty picture.

8.     Enjoy an entire slice of cake
Before you start judging, I said slice, not the entire cake, although the idea is ravishing. In an era where people are increasingly health-conscious, how often do we finish an entire slice of cake? Although you begin by intending to wipe your plate clean, people around us will start spooning around “for a bite” and you’re left with half. Take the opportunity and be a little daredevil: finish the cake! When you feel a little hefty post the conquer, refer to no.6 ;)

9.     Go shopping
I don’t know how most guys do their shopping, but we girls ask most of our girlfriends before buying an outfit. Do yourself the honor this time and hit the mall alone. Rely on your personal choice and avoid awkward budget confrontations. After all, you’re wearing what you’re buying. Take control of what you like for yourself.

10. Attend a party/wedding invitation alone
Can’t write much about this, as I am yet to check this off my list. It may seem a little intimidating to enter a huge ballroom full of people and crossing your fingers to find someone you know, but this is one challenge I think I will take on sometime.

Do you have anything you like to do when you’re alone? I’d love to hear about it! Hope this post inspires. xx

Underage Drinking-Does if Effectively Introduce Alcohol?

Before proceeding to read the contents of this article, I kindly request everybody to keep an open mind as the article contains scientific and opinioned excerpts on alcoholism and underage drinking, which is not exactly black and white areas; they are differently seen upon by different people; some approve while others may not.

We live at a time and age where our parents lean towards friend figures as opposed to the pressure of ethical behavior. Our parents are more up-to-date in terms of fashion, music, movies and everything else in general. We are able to watch an intimate scene in a movie with our folks and not cringe as much as we did before. We can easily pull off wearing a skirt somewhat shorter than we were allowed to wear before, simply because our parents are quickly learning and adapting to the new age, and I must say, we don’t give them enough credit. Parents everywhere, you are awesome!

One thing that I’ve noticed children do with their parents now is alcohol consumption.  Up to a certain point, I applaud these parents who keep an open mind and share these vivid experiences with their kids. However, the age of alcohol introduction is somewhat disturbing. The legal drinking age in most states is 17 years old, and a lot of children below that age are already introduced to alcohol (they may be introduced by the community outside their homes, but this blog specifically discusses home-based alcohol consumption).

Yes, some scientific reasoning have found that introducing alcohol at an early age discloses several advantages such as being more connected to your children, encompassing confidence in your child (they sense the trust infiltrated by parents in them) and a way of harm-minimisation (a term used to describe letting children drink small amounts of alcohol under supervision before they let loose elsewhere).

However, many studies have been conducted over the past few years, which will be enclosed in the following paragraphs:

International data suggests introducing alcohol to teenagers isn’t a way to protect them. Indicating that the earlier a child is introduced to alcohol, the more likely they are to develop problems with alcohol later in life (National Center on Addition and Substance Abuse, 2002).

Scientists currently are examining just how alcohol affects the developing brain, but it’s a difficult task. Subtle changes in the brain may be difficult to detect but still have a significant impact on long-term thinking and memory skills. Add to this the fact that adolescent brains are still maturing, and the study of alcohol’s effects becomes even more complex.

Elevated liver enzymes, indicating some degree of liver damage, have been found in some adolescents who drink alcohol. Young drinkers who are overweight or obese showed elevated liver enzymes even with only moderate levels of drinking.

In both males and females, puberty is a period associated with marked hormonal changes, including increases in the sex hormones, estrogen and testosterone. These hormones, in turn, increase production of other hormones and growth factors, which are vital for normal organ development. Drinking alcohol during this period of rapid growth and development (prior to or during puberty) may upset the critical hormonal balance necessary for normal development of organs, muscles, and bones. Studies in animals also show that consuming alcohol during puberty adversely affects the maturation of the reproductive system.

Obviously, this is not a petition to stop alcohol. This is a mere reminder that anything taken in excess will be of harm to the adolescent body. Can we stop growing children from drinking alcohol? Absolutely not, but we can prevent them from binge-drinking.

There are much better ways to introduce alcohol to your children other than making them take sips regularly;

▪   choose a time when you are both relaxed rather than lecturing them when they aren’t in the right mood

▪   tailor the content and language to your own child and ask questions to make sure that they understand what you are saying

▪   explain the specific harms of alcohol use while their brain is still developing

▪   cover themes such as the positive and negative aspects of alcohol use

▪   encourage them to talk about their own perceptions and assumptions and correct any misconceptions

▪   communicate your expectations about their alcohol consumption

Trust me enough to know that when the time is right, your kid is probably going to know more about alcohol from their social surroundings ;)

Until them, hope this helps xx