STOP Blaming Rape Victims: Don't Women Have Equal Rights?

Disturbed. Haunted. Mind-boggled. I'm not sure if these words do justice to what I am truly feeling at this moment. My usual-random Googling led me to some truly irking, annoying information regarding rape. I dont need to further clarify rape rates in the world. Reading those numbers don't haunt you in your sleep, but reading victims' stories does. When you hear the word rape, what comes to mind? Men raping women, or the other way around? How often do we hear men claiming a sexual assault? How many men have pressed charges over being raped by women? Ponder on these for a moment before finally agreeing with me: Women are the main victims of sexual assaults.

What perturbed me to write this piece of article was when I read some online journals that state that women/victims are "partially to be blamed for the rape case" or "equally guilty as perpetrators of rape" or "the main trigger for their own rape case". I want to get up from my bed and hit these people on the face with an axe. But before I do that, here are some statements (some re-written from lack of references) from victim-blamers on why they believe women are to be blamed for their own rape case:

1. Those women were out late at night when they knew they should have been tucked away in bed.
2. What kind of women wear short skirts?
3. That woman must not have looked respectable. Men would not want to rape respectable women.
4. That woman must have been out drinking and provoked the rape.
5. She was out with a man late at night, which shows her personality.

I say: GO TO HELL, HYPOCRITES!

So, women who stay out late should be raped? Women who work night shifts or dual jobs deserve to be stripped off her dignity? Women who enjoy a late-night movie once in a while call out to being raped? Is this the norm that we are sending off by coming home a little later that usual?

Men are able to walk out the street without covering their upper body. You don't see women jumping their guns on to them. Can't women be out in public, wearing what she wants, without calling out to rapists? isn't this a free world? We cant stop you from thinking "what on earth is she wearing" but we should be able to stop you from doing the despicable.

"Men would not want to rape respectable women". Really? this is what they say? So, rapists will select indecent-looking women to rape? They will conduct a sampling method to separate trashy and classy looking ones? Does this mean that when their mothers and sisters look trashy, they will also be raped by their own family members? Does this mean that all women who have been raped must have looked trashy at the time of rape? I wont even bother starting on this one.

Drinking. I do not support acts on drunken stupor but I am not the only women in the world. Men go out to drink and come home fine and at most, suffer a hangover. While women should live with the fear of being assaulted? Where is the fairness?

Being out late at night with a man shows women's personality? Since when does the 12-hour clock show women's integrity? Aren't women allowed to socially interact with men? Dont we work with men, go to school with men, live with men? Do we need to stay off men in order to "protect our personality"? So when male friends ask out their female friends for a simple coffee chat, that woman should automatically be branded as one who deserves to be raped?


STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM. No woman wants to be sexually assaulted. No parent lets their daughters out, hoping to find them dishevelled on the road. It sinks victims hearts when they are questioned with "who were you with?", "what were you wearing?", "were you drunk?". Shouldn't the questioning be directed to the assaulters, instead of the victims, who are often the receiving end of a group-activity?

This women-blaming activist is the deep-seated mentality which creates a culture and traditions that are oppressive to women. Gruesome crimes against women have become rampant and courts cannot turn a blind eye to the need to send a strong deterrent message to the perpetrators.

Women don't cause rapes. Rapists do.

Together, we can make a difference. Share this and help spread the message to STOP BLAMING RAPE VICTIMS.

Is Charity the New Runway?

Before i proceed to say things that may appear nasty to some, let me start off by saying that I think being involved in a charity is heart-warming. It gives you a sense of pride, belonging and accomplishment to be able to put in a smile in someone's day. Personally, I am a co-chairman of Sincere Hearts, a mini-foundation my best friend, Ekta Melwani and I set up together to help out the needy. By God's grace and support from local donators, we are standing rock solid with good funds and donations for our orphanages and old folks' home visits.

I am also extremely happy to see a lot of people being involved in charity. I must take a moment to applaud Care and Share, brought to my attention by my dear friend, Gita Sangtani, which also conducts visits and encourages donations.They recently worked together with freelance bakers in a Bake Sale, which ran successfully and raised good money to help those in need. Take a bow, guys :)

That being said, I have noticed a lot of people joining well-reputed charity groups with a half-heart. What I mean is, they join your visits, snaps for pictures, uploads them on social medias and wait for compliments such as "How nice of you to spare a sunday for the old folks". When it comes to behind-the-screens, such as packing, planning, organising, they are nowhere to be found.

Sometimes, people mislead the terms "charity" or "help" as a must of shelling out their resources. I think it is to the world's knowledge that everyone's resources are limited differently. while some may afford to spare a huge amount, some of us may be able to spare just a little bit of energy. You know that, that is perfectly all right! If you have limited resources, donate your time and energy, instead of smiling prettily and hashtagging #charity #sundayfunday #oldfolks #theartofgiving #tiredbuthappy #worthwhile without doing much of what is truly required. cape deh.

Another factor is the not-so-much-as-art of giving out old and used items. I once received a bag full of "good quality used toys" and yet when I opened the bag, it was full of broken toys, smelly dusty soft toys, old utensils and what not. I had to throw them out immediately. Well, excuse me, just because the people at the orphanages dont have much, it does not mean that we can give them crap! How? How do these people even think? do they say things like "This is broken so we cant use it, give em away, they'll probably be happy with a piece of wood that looks like nothing" ???

A wooden chopstick. Just one of it, not even a pair. Thats one of the crap I found. Like, seriously?

Torn clothes. Why would they wear clothes with broken, non-repairable zippers? Or clothes with no buttons anymore. Do you expect us to sit and sew your old trash? They can do so much better and you know it.

We create these charity groups because we have the time. Some of you may have all the money in the world but unable to provide time, so we can help you out with that. If you give us crap for donations, we treat you like crap too and have the right to refuse your "donations" in the future.

Not that we are not thankful. We would stand nowhere without your financial and non-financial help. they have helped us get through so many people and you are also responsible for their smiling faces. But, if you wish to do something, you have to do it with a full heart.

Would love to hear your thoughts!

xx